VENTING: I just don't understand....serial cheater H

(sorry for typos - i'm bawling my eyes out) I have no one else to vent to Freaking Husband of 9 years, I just don't understand how you could betray me all these years. You've had multiple long term affairs, short term affairs, dozens of one night stands. How could you lie about being married? Lie about having three wonderful little boys? How could you cheat your family out of money and time? We can never get it back. You've courted other women, you've dated other women, you've F***** other women, you've cUm inside other women , you've put your mouth on other women, you've told other women that you loved them, that you want to be with them, you've brought an STD home to me. Your innocent freaking wife that is only guilty of standing by your side all these years. You've wined and dined other women, you've bought lavish gift for other women, but when it came time to show your wife appreciation for birthday, mother's day, anniversaries you told me "I DON"T HAVE ANY MONEY" You've crapped away money earned on an outside double life. You've maxed your credit cards. YOU DID THIS You won't talk to me. All you tell me is " Sorry, I want you and the kids to be happy. I will be a better husband" Then you walk off from convo or catch and attitude "there we go again". I have not kicked you out of the house YET. I have not filed for divorce YET. You've agreed to go to marital counseling next week Wed. I'm on the verge of cancelling appointment. Our marriage can't be repaired. It will take an act of GOD. I'm stuck in this nasty Fog of a life. Still trying to make sense of it all. HOW dare you...how dare you ruin my life.

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