To Trust or Not To Trust?

I have posted several times about my WW's EA that was very brief, no PA, on dday a NC was done, and while very difficult (as we all unfortunately know), we are 4+ months into R and both have agreed to let the past go and concentrate on ourselves and our marriage. I have read numerous posts about evidence gathering, transparency, VAR's, etc. and wanted to throw out my two cents and get others' thoughts. Simply put, I have made a conscious decision to trust her completely in every aspect of our relationship. I have not asked for transparency, as I believe it's too easy to demonstrate transparency yet not be honest. i.e. she can show me her iPhone, but she can find other means to communicate if she really wants to. Yes, it's been hard at times, and yes I have looked at her emails once or twice without her knowledge (I'm weak sometimes, and morbidly gain false reassurance by doing this), but ultimately if she's going to cheat, I can't stop her. I don't control her, I can't control her, etc. - I can only control myself and my emotions. I realize my view may not be the same if my situation was different (multiple affairs, etc) but in mind instance, I really view transparency as false reassurance. It's just too easy to start up an EA again if that's what one wants. One last thing: if it does happen again, then trust won't be an issue, as we won't be together.

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