| Hello all, first time poster here...looking for some advice/direction. In grand scheme of things my "situation" is not that complicated. But I want some insight on what I should expect if I go through with my plan. Thanks for reading. In a very large city, about 20 months ago, I met a girl my age (was then 23) who I connected with really well. That alone is not big news as I was not shy or awkward around girls then. But at the time I was a virgin. Any sex related activity I had no clue about. ***I had only been in said city for a few months prior to meeting her. She was a local, I was the foreigner. After four or five times of hanging out she invited me back to her place (my living situation was not appropriate for overnight visiting). In total I stayed overnight at her place three times. After the first time that I didn't go all the way she mentioned that she thought it was so great that I wanted to move slowly and that I must have thought of her as more than a fling. The second time there was some massaging (this I was comfortable with) going on but I eventually wimped out. The third time when I didn't execute the deal she was really disappointed and angry. She didn't know I was a virgin because I denied it. She gave me the talk shortly thereafter saying we couldn't be as close anymore and that she lost those types of feelings for me. She just wanted to be friends. Meanwhile I felt some regret for being so timid, surely you cant blame me, and told her I really did like her...you know, despite having three opportunities take care of business but resisting. She probably thought bullshit. I kind of rejected her in a way, right? Anyway, we hung out in small groups of friends twice within maybe a few months after she said she just wanted to be friends. Then it fizzled out and for about 17 months we have not had ANY contact whatsoever. During that 17 months or so a lot has changed for me: I'm no longer a virgin, I was in a relationship for about 9 months, I've developed a nice network of friends here, I had a full-time job for over a year, I live on my own... Essentially my confidence and independence are much higher than before. However, whenever I feel the urge to contact her (had that urge for about 5 months now) I become nervous and feel like I'm reverting to my old ways—like an unsure small boy. I think I have her on a pedestal because I failed with her and think she still views me as "that guy who teased me". So what is it that I wish to accomplish with reconnecting with her, besides the inevitable how have you been? Well, that's the thing; first and foremost I'm just curious about her. We got along so well and in my mind we ought to be friends for long time, but now can we even be called acquaintances? Because we are connected via a certain online avenue I know she is still in the city, as am I. I'm making this too difficult. I'd be fibbing if I said there wasn't some sort of attraction I have for her, added to my mad curiousness of how she could notice I've changed. Is there a chance something can be reignited? What should I think about her not contacting me for so long? Any suggestions? Stop being a wimp and just send her a message and let it progress how it may? | |||
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