| I am 37, live in Texas and have been married for almost 8 years with 3 girls (7,4,1). My wife had an emotional affair for 3-4 weeks with a friend from highschool that lives in New York. The best I can dig up this is true that he lives in New York. I found out about the affair by complete accident by doing something in her e-mail account. I found 1 e-mail of a texting dialogue talking about amazing and sexy pictures my wife was sending him. Her sent, trash, inbox, etc. have all been cleared out and no record of anything. I checked our cell phone logs and she sent him about 2,000 text messages and over 200 picture messages over the 3-4 week period. Over the same time period she was also sending me pictures. They started off just her in sexy clothes and progressed to completed naked pictures. She has admitted to this and that they were the same pictures sent to me and more. She also admits they were inappropriate. I know that she sent the same ones t o OM because they were sent at almost the same time. She sent him over 200 picture text messages and sent me about 25 over the same time. Who knows what other pictures where sent or what e-mails were sent. After I found out, I demanded she stop talking to him immediately and we get in couseling. She did stop talking to him because they have not talked at all per the phone logs. She has told me she had an EA and that she agrees to stop talking with him, but it is not over. We have been in counseling and it goes good and bad sometimes. As anyone knows this is a emotional roller coaster. You get sad, then mad, then confused, then angry, then sad, etc. I have told the counselor and my wife that I need everything to be open and honest. She has agreed, but little things keep happening. I found out that she blocked me from facebook, changed her e-mail password, has a lock on her cell phone and just wants her privacy. The major thing now is she bought a prepaid cell phone. I asked why she bought it and she said because I was tracking her (true). I asked why she needed a prepaid cell phone if she wasn't doing anything and had nothing to hide ... no response. My gut (which has been right almost everytime lately) tells me she is using this prepaid cell phone to talk with him. I have read that EA are usually worse than PA because it is in your mind and your feelings. I do not think you can just stop EA and feel like it is still going on. I am doing my snooping and have no evidence anything is going on, but my gut tells me something is. Counselor said something has happened and she has gone off the deep end and said she will eventually come back. This is not the woman I married and is completely tearing my entire family apart. My parents and even her parents are completely pissed at her and have chewed her out left and right. Nothing and no one has changed what she wants. I know that a divorce will be very hard for my little girls and will be bad for them in the long run. My wife has no education and could barely take care of her self much less having 3 kids. She is not making good decisions like smoking pot once. If she gets the kids who knows what she will expose them to and I will live the rest of my life helping fix my kids what she has messed up. She has issues from growing up about her parents being way over the top protective and have crippled her. She can barely make decisions for her self. She has told me that she does not feel the same way about me anymore and does not want to be married. I still love her and want this to work for me and my kids. Sorry if this is tough to follow, but so much has happened in a short amount of time and feel like I am just rambling. I have just in the last couple of days said I am done, but we live 4 hours from home and have no one to help or go to. We are still living in the same house and she has moved into 1 of our daughters rooms. Just found out today she still has the prepaid cell phone. I asked my oldest daugher where mom keeps her other phone and she said she did not know. She said mom talks and texts on it all the time. She has described it to me and it is different from the phone I know about. She asks mom what phone that is and she says non of my daughters business. She said that mommy is keeping secrets and that is not nice. Do not know what to do? At this point I have financially protected myself the best I can and seems like things have settled down a little. Counselor told me if I do not know what to do, then the best thing to do is nothing. Guess I am just hoping for a miracle or maybe I am just an idot. HELP! | |||
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