My Wife's Married Male Friend

Hi All. Let me start by saying that I believe that a marriage is worth saving up to a point and that right now I am getting there. I moved my family to another city to kind of start over. My Family is very important to me and I want them to have the best life they can. We enrolled my daughter in a school so she could start JK. Some time went by and My Wife became friends with a couple who aren't technically married but they have been together for almost ten years and appear to have a stable relationship which my wife and I have not had in a very long time. She had even spent time there and had stayed there pretty late. She told me that these friends of hers had made her laugh and she felt good to have them. I was happy about this because my wife is a friendly person and deserves to have good friends. She became friends with the Wife first and then the husband. So anyway she became friends with them and engaged in a great deal of texting which for my liking became. I really didn't care too much for the texting because it semed to take up a lot of her time when she was at home and I felt as though it was taking time away from our 3 kids. Then a while back my wife and I were discussing something and she asked me if I would ever consider taking a dance class with her. She mentioned ballroom da ncing and I told her yeah I would take a class with you for sure. She then proceeded to ask If I would have a problem if she took a class where she would have another male partner. I promptly said "no". The reason behind this response was because My Wife and I have never had opposite sex friends outside of our relationship and I kinda had a feeling that she was trying to get at something about perhaps doing something with her new married male friend. She didn't come right out and say his name but I had a hunch. So later the next day I think it was the tires on our car needed replacing so I told her I was gonna take care of it and I could get a good deal from my tire guy. Well she promptly went into a frenzy..telling me I didn't value her input and that her feelings in the matter and that she was going to be taking a dance class with her "partner" and that they were gonna be doing the kind of dancing that they wanted to do. All this because I wanted to get tires for th e car. I ended up not getting the tires and came back home and got bargain basement tires that she wanted...she actually wanted to get second hand tires. I was infuriated that she was going to dance with this guy and more so at the fact that she never even had the courtesy of asking me when I had already found out that she basically told me I had to be alright with it. I even went as far as to talk with his wife about it and tell her how I felt. she agreed with me and told him he couldn't dance if I did not agree with it. He asked his wife and she said yes but I'm not comfortable at all with my Wife spending any time with another man especially in that context. Then there was the sexting with an ex boyfriend that I caught her doing. I was suspicious because my wife hides her phone all the time and I was completely floored when I read the things that they were sending each other. I almost walked out on her. She Promptly ended contact with him and deleted him from her phone. This has made me distrust her intensely. The contact with her new friends almost ended because of what she had done with this guy. Getting back to the dancing...Wanting to intentionally spend this kind of time with a male friend infuriated me and I have never been the jealous type until all this happened. When spring arrived she even became getting dressed up with makeup and hair all done up just to bring my daughter to school in the morning. I immediately thought it was because of her male friend but she told me it was because she was feeling better about herself. I could not help but think this was for different reasons. My Wife has an interest in photography which I share with her but she felt the need to go out to take photos with her new male friend because he has a nice dslr camera and he knows spots around the city. This has caused me to be very suspicious of his motives as he is friendly with my wife and I don't like it at all. My Wife and I have never had opposite sex friends outside of our relationship and I feel there is a very good reason for this. I don't think it's appropriate. I allowed my wife one time to go out for night pics with this guy and she left the house at 9:15 and didn't return until 1 am. I was pissed off and she then told me she wasn't gonna take night pics with him for a while. I recently had been privy to my wife's text messages and noticed that she had plans to sneak out to take night pics without telling me. There has been so much animosity between me and this guy just under the surface...Now I don't even talk with him or his wife because I can't fathom how she can be ok with My Wife and Him being out alone like that. Part of me thought they might be more "open" then I once thought. Also My Wife has been discussing starting a photo business with this guy behind my back. She is so determined to do things with him...her family has notice her change in behaviour around him....excessive make up...getitng herself dolled up when he's around. She doesn't listen when people tell her what she's doing is wrong. Even his Wife has told h er she needs to respect my feelings and she should be making me dance with her and take pictures. As it stand right now I'm waiting for my Wife to go and sneak out to take these pics so I can confront her and basically make her decide because I won't be allowing her to spend any more time with him at this point. Please I need some perspective on this as I have read how these things can always turn into something else and I don't like being told I need to "get over" it or just trust her because situations like this never start out full blown...they always have a way of developing over time. I don't plan on being one of those guys who's wife sits him down to tell him that it" just happened" and she doesn't know how because I know exactly how it happened....because I didn't take steps to prevent it from happening in the first place.

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