| This is kind of a long post, so thanks to any of :)you who take the time to read it and respond…. I have been separated for 11 months now, and am nowhere ready to actively date yet but I have a question or two since it has been about 30 years since I've dated…. I reconnected with an old BF (from high school…. my first love) through "LinkedIn" about 7 months ago. He was also separated and in mediation to settle his divorce. Although he lives up north, it turns out that he comes to my area at least once a month for several days on business. Back in late February, when we first started exchanging emails, he told me he was coming to town and suggested that we meet for dinner and drinks. Dinner went well and he asked me out for dinner the next evening as well. He was in town again in early March and again we went out for dinner. He told me at that time that his boss told him he needed to relocate to this area since their headquarters office is here. Said he was supposed to move by early May (this still hasn't happen because he is resisting living so far from his children…all in their 20s). He then sent an email inviting me for a weekend trip to Florida, where he had to go on business in early April. Said he would pay for my airfare, but only intended to get one hotel room. Said it would be a good test of our compatibility. I declined. Thought it was too soon and D24 was coming to town and I wanted to spend time with her. We saw each other one more time in late March and then he went totally incommunicado. I texted him…no response… I emailed him, no response… I didn't hear anything from him for a number of weeks, although I did text him periodically if I knew some important date was coming up for him….such as his youngest son's graduation from college. One day he finally sent a text saying he had sent me an email. Read the email. He was apologizing for being a jerk. Said he found himself very attracted to me but was conflicted because neither of us is divorced yet. Said he was trying to respect his children's wishes that he not date until his divorce was final. So in his words…he ran and hid. I get wanting to respect your kids' wishes. However, the way he handled things with me made me feel like we were back in high school. If you're not interested….make a phone call, send an email, send a text. If you are interested, at least send a text saying you have a lot going on right now….. We continued to text periodically for a few weeks after, then he sent a text saying he was coming to town again, but he didn't ask to see me. While he was here he sent another text letting me know that he and a friend were going to be at a bar in town Saturday night. Still didn't ask me to meet up with him. Felt like a game to me. Doesn't want to come out and ask to see me, but sends me messages keeping me apprised of where he is and who he is with. The day he was heading back north he texted me asking if I wanted to meet for coffee or a quick lunch. I told him I already had plans (true) and was on my way out. Continued to exchange texts off and on for the next few weeks and in July he tells me he will be in town again and he wants to see me. I meet up with him and my sister joins us for drinks. All went well. I understand when he is in town that he is busy with business dinners, etc. He also has other friends (from when he used to live here) and colleagues in the area, so I understand he can't see me each time he is in town. Saw him again in late August, and he tells me he will be back the next week for two days and he asks if I am available. We decide to get together on Thursday… A day or so later when he is back up north, he sends a text saying I'll see you next week…and I haven't heard from him since. He mentioned the day before Labor Day weekend that he had plans with his kids through Tuesday of last week, so I didn't think anything of not hearing from him, but I thought I would hear from him last Wednesday. Nothing. I don't get it. I even texted him to say…."you know, I'm a big girl. If you don't want to see me, I can handle it. Just let me know." Nothing. I get the stress of divorce. The D that he thought was right around the corner back in February is still dragging on. Mediation hasn't worked and they are heading to court. He is the president of a company. He travels a lot. But why the "school boy" behavior? I do enjoy spending time with him, but huge warning bells are going off. I doubt I will ever see him again and if he doesn't end up relocating then it wouldn't work out anyway… I did send a final text to him saying that I had too much respect for myself to let him treat me the way he has…and I wished him luck with the D, etc. Just curious as to whether any of you can provide some insight as to why he has behaved the way he has???? Should I just forget about him? | |||
| | |||
| | |||
|
No comments:
Post a Comment