| My story so far: My wife and I have been together for almost 10 years and married for a little over 4 years. We have a beautiful 2 year old boy that we both love and loving supporting families. My wife has a great job as the manager for a large retail store and I work in management for her family's company. The jobs are the first of our issues. My wife loves her job (I think) but it takes up a very large amount of her time. On average 12 hours a day. I on the other hand love her family, but with seeing them every single day at work, we are also flipping a house together, and gatherings on weekends, i have just about no time away from them and it is getting increasingly difficult. I like my job, I am passionate about it, and extremely appreciative of all that her family has done for us but feeling like my entire life is managed by her family is getting to me. So that said i do most of the raising of our son do to her work schedule which also means that I dont have much time to myself but it has never really bothered me as she is working hard to provide for us and I love my son. its just the way it is. However the lack of time with my wife has been getting to me for awhile. I have slowly started to feel like she avoids coming home as long as possible. Thee is always something to do. And when she is home she always finds something to do (i.e answer work emails, do some other project on her phone/laptop) instead of being in the moment with me. I have also been questioning whether she is still attracted to me at all as we are rarely intimate anymore. I always kiss her when she comes home and try to hug her and love her but she feels distant. I always initiate sex, am often turned down, and when we do it feels like it is a chore to her. These things had all been waying on me quite a bit for the past while and a couple months ago things were coming to a head and we had a bit of a blow up. She says she doesnt feel like I notice her and I pay more attention to our son, I feel like she doesnt notice me... basically we are feeling the same. We talked through it and although I felt I was always trying I have been making extra strides. A few weeks ago we went on a great vacation, seemed like we had a great time... 3 Days ago, the night before she was leaving on a 4 day trip for work, things went very south. It was a normal night, she was packing late for the trip, then we were taking a shower and I was trying to make conversation but getting zero response. This is a pet peeve of mine so i started getting irritated. As we were laying down for bed i made a comment like "glad we got to talk before you leave and glad you're going to miss me (sarcasm)... then she is sitting up looking at me with tears in her eyes and the bottom fell out. She totally breaks down, not in anger with me, but proceeds to tell me how she has been extremely miserable for the past year and she just cant hold it in anymore. Says she has been trying to figure it out but can't. She doesnt know why she is so mean to me. When I ask her what makes her happy, she says our son, shopping, but will not say that I make her happy ( asked point blank) wont say i make her unhappy, just not that I make her happy. Says sh e still loves me, I read that means not "in love" with me. The is the condensed version of what transpired but she says she will go stay with her sister for awhile when she gets back, might find a counselor. I tell her I will fight with every part of my being for her. We have text each other while she has been gone but its all more of the same... not over but not really feeling positive. I'm very much a read between the lines kind of guy. I have not lashed out, I love her and want us to work. She makes me a better person and is the only woman I want and love. However i have been taking care of a 2 year and going to work each day with her whole family every day while feeling the greatest sadness i can remember in my life. i feel trapped. I want to cry, but instead am overwhelmed with a numbness. Sorry this is so long, i just had to get it out as I cant talk to anyone becasue I dont want this to influence anyone's opinion of her (my family friends) and i think it will also make it feel more real. My wife is an amazing woman (caring, self sacrificing, dedicated, driven) I just want her to stay my amazing woman... | |||
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