Looks for intelligent exit stratedgy?

hi, I enjoyed some of the reading here. Of course i feel my situation is unique and others might not, but im the otherman of an old high school friend we're both in our early 50's. She is commonlaw married, something I had not heard of or understood. i did think it was like palimony, but it's quite more legal and requires a divorce. There's always the element of unknown that she's been lying the whole time, about lack of intimacy with her legal spouse, but after a summer interlude last summer i went to where she lives and hung out there. After a couple months i demanded a status on whether or not she planned to leave him, and got a lot of resistance. One thing is they got a chapt 13 bancrupcy almost done, a legit reason to delay divorce, even some lawyers i spoke to agree. 1- The husband had actually given her permission to see other people, as long as she didnt bring them home or use his money for dating. A fact i later confirmed with him by phone and i taped it too. There were many incidents that from her side, contradicted his instructions, and yes sitting in her town got to suck, because she could never stay overnight, I read on another thread someone sharing about this. The "unknown". We OM's don't really know if both parties of the marriage are sick people, and stick screwing even if they allowed the affair. Horrible feeling. Suddenly I pay for her to come back to our hometown for a weekend and the poop hits the fan. He "texts me", words to the effect thanking me for taking care of her and if i want i could "keep her". So she's at my house, they're battling all weekend by phone. She goes home, he moves out. Now before anybody attacks me, for being dumb as I've seen on other threads. I'll volunteer that I am hooked, and she's been a liar and a cheat all her life. Of course im dumb for thinking im something special or likelyhood of this going anywhere. This was just 2 weeks ago. I do feel partly responsible, but I got caught in a war of words at him, and i called him after his text to me which was when he concurred he had given her permission. Suddenly surprise surprise they're going to therapy. he's demanded she not speak to me and so forth. but she's using an alt phone i got her to call me. He is still moved out. Im trying to think of an exit speech, whereby "bye for now, if you get divorced and want to try this again let me know". The familiarty of knowing her since teenage years, makes it hard to let go, plus the idea that this happenned at my house, the weekend from hell for her. Also they have a teenage kid. I get the idea the forum is anti cheating, but wondering if you all would consider this "common law" thing "cheating" really. its a bit odd to me, i never knew abuot it before.

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