I'm tired. So sick of being where I'm at. He left nearly 2 years ago yet here I am still hurt? We go through bouts of not speaking and made it 4 months when he messaged me out of the blue saying that he needed some of his grandparents belongings that he left with me (he had just packed what he could fit into his car and left). Since they are his late grandparents furniture, etc out of respect I kept them and actually planned on using them (they are currently in storage) but he wants them back? Fine.
I have since changed my number and he didn't have my new one and our minimal communication was through good ole social media. Well he messaged me saying that he was going to delete his Facebook account and did so without me getting a word in so I HAD to text him to ask exactly what he wanted. He did then begins a small chat and says that he's expecting a child....a boy with a woman he's been casually seeing for a few months.
Hit me like a ton of bricks. We had no business doing it but while married we had tried for children unsuccessfully. Well now here he is having one with someone he barely knows and claims to not even get along with. Of course I congratulated him and acted nonchalant but it set me back emotionally and I cried for 2 weeks. I know I should be glad I didn't have children with him but I'm still incredibly hurt and I can't shake it off. I just don't understand why I can't seem to get over him. I keep our conversations business like and I keep asking him when he will come down and get his stuff (he lives 8 hours away) but he keeps saying soon and that he's not sure. He doesn't know it but I plan on cutting everything off once he does. His son is due in November and I don't want to hear about it or see pictures. I can't take it and just need to cut off contact so I can actually heal.
But why after 2 years can't I just be over this?? We were only married for two years so it's just absolutely pathetic that I'm STILL stuck. I haven't dated anyone. I can't. I've been on one date and it didn't work out. I don't want to bury my feelings in some other man and bring excess baggage with me so I'm trying to do this on my own, single. Not working. I can't do this anymore. Every day there are reminders everywhere about how I was the loser who couldn't keep her husband and now though he's unhappy himself, he's obviously moved on. What does it take?!
Thabks for letting me vent. Back to real life I guess...
I have since changed my number and he didn't have my new one and our minimal communication was through good ole social media. Well he messaged me saying that he was going to delete his Facebook account and did so without me getting a word in so I HAD to text him to ask exactly what he wanted. He did then begins a small chat and says that he's expecting a child....a boy with a woman he's been casually seeing for a few months.
Hit me like a ton of bricks. We had no business doing it but while married we had tried for children unsuccessfully. Well now here he is having one with someone he barely knows and claims to not even get along with. Of course I congratulated him and acted nonchalant but it set me back emotionally and I cried for 2 weeks. I know I should be glad I didn't have children with him but I'm still incredibly hurt and I can't shake it off. I just don't understand why I can't seem to get over him. I keep our conversations business like and I keep asking him when he will come down and get his stuff (he lives 8 hours away) but he keeps saying soon and that he's not sure. He doesn't know it but I plan on cutting everything off once he does. His son is due in November and I don't want to hear about it or see pictures. I can't take it and just need to cut off contact so I can actually heal.
But why after 2 years can't I just be over this?? We were only married for two years so it's just absolutely pathetic that I'm STILL stuck. I haven't dated anyone. I can't. I've been on one date and it didn't work out. I don't want to bury my feelings in some other man and bring excess baggage with me so I'm trying to do this on my own, single. Not working. I can't do this anymore. Every day there are reminders everywhere about how I was the loser who couldn't keep her husband and now though he's unhappy himself, he's obviously moved on. What does it take?!
Thabks for letting me vent. Back to real life I guess...
Put the internet to work for you.
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