One-sided EA; Affair or attachment

In another thread today a husband described his wife as having been in an EA bit that it was one sided. Rather than high jack the thread I want to continue the discussion here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by meson (Post 13457154) It is still an EA even if it was one sided. *An EA is a significant emotional investment in someone other than your spouse. *The negative effects for the marriage still happen regardless if the investment was returned by the other or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecondTime'Round (Post 13457402) I'm not down-playing the significance of it, but I don't think it should be called an affair since that implies two people. *If someone developed an emotional attachment to me, without my knowledge, and it as a cause of marital problems and then I heard that that person was in an "emotional affair" with me, I'd be like, "Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!" * I think we can use the acronym EA to mean both emotional affair and/or emotional attachment, and both are damaging to a marriage. Semantics.

This topic resonates with me due to my own situation. For me the identification of a one-sided EA as an EA helped me understand what was happening and helped me identify a solution. At first because of the lack of reciprocity I didn't think I was having an EA and so I didn't grasp what was happening. Then when I looked further into what an EA was I realized I had all of the traits except reciprocity. I unfaithfully invested emotionally in someone other than my spouse which was and is unfaithful. Because of this unfaithfulness I have been equating it with an affair an affair of the heart.

However I never thought of SecondTime'Round's objection that it implicates the other person to the status of OW or OM which is not right either. She recommends that EA should also include these unfaithful attachments.

What do others think?

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