DH and I have been married for 13 years, the first 5 were great. Year 5 I went back to school and worked two jobs, because the industry I was in running rampant with layoffs. While I was working and attending classes basically 12-14 hours a day 3 or 4 days a week he hooked up with someone he knew from his past. I found out when the wireless phone bill came and was over $500 for one month. I was shocked, as my ex had cheated on me also and he knew that. DH said he "thought I didn't love him anymore" as I was always gone, of course to me I was trying to make our lives better in the future. I immediately dropped out of school, and returned to my full time job.
We've done marriage counseling in the past, always meets with the same response he says "yes yes" in the office, and might even do good for awhile and then goes right back to where he was. Our pattern typically runs a cycle of about 6 months--this go along great, then good, then ok, the finally there is an explosion of some type by him when I try to talk.
My biggest issues with him are not doing the things he says he will do, not treating me with love and respect, and not being a partner but rather takes the position of "child" and expects me to take care of everything.
Three weeks ago was the "blow up" and he said something to me that he's never said before and it was like the final straw. He said I never do anything for him, biggest lie EVERY. There have been times he hasn't worked, or worked part-time and I have kept the bills paid, food on the table, etc. He's never been told no when he wanted something---a motorcycle, or smaller things. I on the other hand get very little from him--birthdays, anniversary and Christmas are often never even acknowledged.
So he says he will move out, a few days go by nothing happens. We finally talk that Friday and we agree that him moving out is the best plan--we are stuck. We don't say divorce or anything like that. Within 2 hours he's on FB talking with his 1st ex-wife, then a few days later texting with her. We have a few conversations, and I get really mad about this whole thing with her. And he decides he wants to work on the marriage, but is still going to move out to give us both some "breathing room". He stops talking to her, then all of a sudden Sunday he says he doesn't think he is going to move out that working on this isn't best being apart.
I need him to go, we need some time apart. I have no idea what will happen, but I need to close that chapter of my life with him. I'm sure he will just move on to someone else and won't put in any effort to save things, but that is an answer in itself for me.
We've done marriage counseling in the past, always meets with the same response he says "yes yes" in the office, and might even do good for awhile and then goes right back to where he was. Our pattern typically runs a cycle of about 6 months--this go along great, then good, then ok, the finally there is an explosion of some type by him when I try to talk.
My biggest issues with him are not doing the things he says he will do, not treating me with love and respect, and not being a partner but rather takes the position of "child" and expects me to take care of everything.
Three weeks ago was the "blow up" and he said something to me that he's never said before and it was like the final straw. He said I never do anything for him, biggest lie EVERY. There have been times he hasn't worked, or worked part-time and I have kept the bills paid, food on the table, etc. He's never been told no when he wanted something---a motorcycle, or smaller things. I on the other hand get very little from him--birthdays, anniversary and Christmas are often never even acknowledged.
So he says he will move out, a few days go by nothing happens. We finally talk that Friday and we agree that him moving out is the best plan--we are stuck. We don't say divorce or anything like that. Within 2 hours he's on FB talking with his 1st ex-wife, then a few days later texting with her. We have a few conversations, and I get really mad about this whole thing with her. And he decides he wants to work on the marriage, but is still going to move out to give us both some "breathing room". He stops talking to her, then all of a sudden Sunday he says he doesn't think he is going to move out that working on this isn't best being apart.
I need him to go, we need some time apart. I have no idea what will happen, but I need to close that chapter of my life with him. I'm sure he will just move on to someone else and won't put in any effort to save things, but that is an answer in itself for me.
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