Hi.
I have had threads on here before...a few hard years for me after beign abaondoned by my fiance (literally he disappeared) a couple of years ago and then having dated hot and cold / problematic men ever since who have hurt me.
I got a lot of support on here and today just feel totally at rock bottom, hopeles, lost and wanted to post and maybe get some insight or wisdom.
I gave up on men completely and decided to just be single, then I met one that seemed nothing like the others at all. No words of love or red hot passion....just slow and steady friendship and niceness and I started to see him very casually for a while.
It was all going quite well, and although no fireworks he grew on me slowly. He was clever and gentle and seemed so honest and not trying to get anything from me. No rush to get me into bed at all. Effort from him to plan lovely and thoughtful date. Talking to me about his life, his past, his children.
Last weekend was our first night together after a few months of dating and growing closer. He knew I was scared of being hurt and he assured me he wanted a relationship and was a solid guy just wanting to find something worthwhile.
So I stayed with him overnight, we had a great time, lots of affection, he showed me his home and all his memories and photos and chatted long into the night about our lives. Cuddled all night. Sex and all that He drove me home even though it was an hour for me to take the train and 3 hours in the car.
Then that was it. He went silent. When I questioned him days later he said he was sorry, he wasn't ready for a relationship and that was it.
I feel absolutely devastated.
I am so tired of life and of being hurt and treated so badly. I have started to feel like there is something wrong with me.
He has given me reasons now, but they sound like excuses I am not sure. He was so cold, just cut me off just like that and I feel humilted and cheap and used after so long slowly building a bond and waiting to get physical.
Please help. I can't talk to anyone in real life. I am so ashamed as they all knew I went for my first night with the new boyfriend and I feel completely humilated and can't tell anyone.
I have had threads on here before...a few hard years for me after beign abaondoned by my fiance (literally he disappeared) a couple of years ago and then having dated hot and cold / problematic men ever since who have hurt me.
I got a lot of support on here and today just feel totally at rock bottom, hopeles, lost and wanted to post and maybe get some insight or wisdom.
I gave up on men completely and decided to just be single, then I met one that seemed nothing like the others at all. No words of love or red hot passion....just slow and steady friendship and niceness and I started to see him very casually for a while.
It was all going quite well, and although no fireworks he grew on me slowly. He was clever and gentle and seemed so honest and not trying to get anything from me. No rush to get me into bed at all. Effort from him to plan lovely and thoughtful date. Talking to me about his life, his past, his children.
Last weekend was our first night together after a few months of dating and growing closer. He knew I was scared of being hurt and he assured me he wanted a relationship and was a solid guy just wanting to find something worthwhile.
So I stayed with him overnight, we had a great time, lots of affection, he showed me his home and all his memories and photos and chatted long into the night about our lives. Cuddled all night. Sex and all that He drove me home even though it was an hour for me to take the train and 3 hours in the car.
Then that was it. He went silent. When I questioned him days later he said he was sorry, he wasn't ready for a relationship and that was it.
I feel absolutely devastated.
I am so tired of life and of being hurt and treated so badly. I have started to feel like there is something wrong with me.
He has given me reasons now, but they sound like excuses I am not sure. He was so cold, just cut me off just like that and I feel humilted and cheap and used after so long slowly building a bond and waiting to get physical.
Please help. I can't talk to anyone in real life. I am so ashamed as they all knew I went for my first night with the new boyfriend and I feel completely humilated and can't tell anyone.
Put the internet to work for you.
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