Before anyone starts the horrible replays and the negative post, please read my post in its end.
I am 33 years old, my husband us 37. We have been together for 18 years last month, married 12 this past December. We have 3 amazing kids ages 12,10,6. It has been a long road fir us. He has always been an athlete and is 7 foot so he's always been a basketball player from the day I met him. We went to the same high school. Long story short, after high school I stayed (waited) for him while he bounced from college to college playing ball. Finally after my mother passed a year later he and I hit a place together- well he didn't live there he went to play ball in Mexico-so another year I sat and edited for him. Fast forward- we found oh d we were pregnant while finally planning our wedding, so wedding was off until after our son was born.
When my son was 6 months I decided to go to nursing school. After years and years of bring my husbands biggest cheerleader towards his dreams, all he could say to my nursing was " you'll never get in"-I did-"you'll never pass or graduate"-I did-"you'll never get and keep a job" I did I actually kept 3 even when we found out we were pregnant again. Fast forward- I spent years of him being unsupportive, starting his own business which ran us into the ground and then he bluntly blamed me one night," all I do is babysit these f***en kids! I could be going basketball if it wasn't for this!" That same night he admitted to cheating. So, I love him what else was I to do? I left with the kids, moved from Texas to Colorado to gave help from. Y family and give him his time. He gladly helped me pack, then sent me 2 kids and 2 Great Danes on our way and said "love you guys I'll see you in 2weeks! I've got a basketball fame to get to." And he was gone and off we left yo Colorado. The harde st,scariest thing I ever had yo do alone. What man does that? He loved his wife and family sooooo much he claimed, who does that? So as the months pasted, he would come up and visit, was loving and caring but shady and secretive about what he was doing in Texas. After a year of him not willing to move to Colorado, always saying in another month I had it. I filed divorce and told him I'd be seeing other people. He said he didn't want the divorce and he would move soon-another year goes by and I did start seeing someone. I then told him I'd be co i g down yo move him up if he really wanted to be a family, and he finally moved..........2days after moving yo Colorado he left to pick his MOTHER up in North corlina to move into MY(our) small rental!!! I begged him not to, said we needed to work on us first yet he did it anyway. So in comes the mother in law(whom I hardly knew) 3 weeks later he moved his BROTHER in! Ugh! So then the demands of getting a bigger home came in. I was w orking my a** off while they all sat a tho e (she couldn't even watch the kids she claimed due to her heart issues) he was playing pro basketball ( not being paid, but being paid by his aunt who was his "sponsor") I came home to new cars, speakers JUNK everyday!! Yet no house bills were paid, ever which I did catch up and deal with. I had been seeing so done for 5-6 months at that time, nothing g special or serious- and I told my husband it all. I also said ok I'm ready off the divorce, he said"no your going to break it off and we are fixing this marriage" and that was that. I thought it was very odd, hurtful and deceiving. But that's what we did. Fast forward- so next came the HUGE EXPENSIVE home to house our family PKUS his mother and brother. He was still trying to get signed pro but living and spending (without me knowing) like he had already signed a big money deal-never happened. He lied about not paying the mortgage, we both tried for another baby which finally gapoe ned, bought expensive cars, stopped paying bills, borrowed money from MY family behind my back.....and all the while he was GONE trying to get a ball deal making crap for money and lieing about it while continue eing to dig our debt grave.
I finas,y couldn't take it. Police banging on the door constantly with summons, notices of foreclosure, repos, my family attacking me about money he borrowed.....endless. His mother and him both asked that I quit school (I was returning for my BSN) and support him while he lives his dream, and if fords I quit (which I regret to this day). I finally kick his family out and give him husband options- bawling my eyes out (which had hardly ever answered anyway,this night I cannt believe I caught him) I told him he needed to either be home or lay everything out to me and be honest. This was November. (He left the night my daughter was born, leaving me to deal alone and his mother was nothing but a headache!) after he said he couldn't gone home I told him I wanted a divorce and to see other people. He said, don't do that I'll be home in April and we can work. Wth!!! Really???? I did nothing for months, he did come hind and swore he was going to help us get thru alllllllll the debt mess he created...he stayed for 3 weeks, wrote me a nite he had to leave again. In the time he was home a past boyfriend had contacted me on MySpace, which I laughed and let my husband read which was no big deal to him. He left that January. 3 weeks after him leaving here come the lawsuits agin- repos, missed payments, garnishments......on and on. So that night I email the toast boyfriend, and emailed my husband I had enough I was moving on. That started an affair that today is still so what there-5 1/2 years total.
What a crazy 5+ years. My husband has known everything all along, continued to live in Texas, allow (almost make) my OM pay for stuff, help with my kids.....I filled, he still wouldn't sign. I never wanted a life without my husband, never wanted a life with the OM, but NEVER thought my husband would condone this mess. We moved to PENN 3 years ago together, my OM was relentless and I gad to go back to Denver to try and save our house (which should've been long gone and forclosed) and I didn't see the OM, I was committed to fixing us and my marriage and so was he. But out of no where he got another job in Texas and needed to "dump" the kids back with me. I told him I'd stay in PA, so that there would not be any contact with the OM, he refused. Good thing I was fixing our home in Denver or my kids and I would have no place to live. So he went back to texas and we stayed in Denver.
I had a good nurse manager job, he was bouncing jobs again ( he's 37, had a real job starting at age 34- and he's and 5 in that time to now) he again went shady, hard to get ahold of, came up only 2 times last year. The OM was around again, which my husband knew all about. I planned a trip to Hawaii for my kids and my husband and me, have him 6 months notice and he bailed that week. We all knew he would. The OM was I distant he go, me not go alone and he bought the last ticket available 2 days before we left and came to Hawaii, my husband knew from the beginning.
So here's to current. Our home forclosed finally out of no where right after returning from Hawaii. My husband could careless. My kids and I were about to have nowhere to live. The OM was and has been for 4 years begging me for marriage, to move my family in with him to vail Colorado and I always knew I didn't want that. I wanted my husband to BE A FATHER AND HUSBAND!!!! So after the house was gone, I pushed myself to texas and found a house with my husband. We went back and forth, although he hadn't ever wanted the divorce now all of a sudden he didn't know how we would work, but he knew we could. We moved to texas this past September, it's all been hard for the kids and me. The OM has been relentless. Calling and harassing. I finally gave in I. October and saw him. I also so him in November. If I saw him and talked to him he wouldn't freak out and harass my husband. In January it all came to a head. The OM got my home # and called and my husband answered. This pissed off my husband and he claimed we needed a break. How can I help what someone does!!? I couldn't stop him from calling!! I have begged for IC and MC for 10 years, he's never done any! I did do IC on and off for the last 7 years. So my husband left, I ended up seeing the OM that January so I could end it for good ( which I tried a restraining order, cops, and nothing to my benefit) my husband stayed gone for over a month. In that month I hardly if any spoke to the OM, hardly spoke to my husband and he didn't try to see the kids ir call. I found out from online he had been arrested for DUI while we were apart- which he later said he was roofed ANC at a bar not a business dinner. He came home in February, with his job he claims he had to be gone a lot and that he was. Constantly Gond all night, not calling. Just gone. The OM started his craziness again before Easter and called me with my husband on 3way. This whole conversation was still to stay away from me, the OM asked about my hus band and I denied I was with him I fear the OM would start calling him and harassing my husband again, apparently that's the only part my husband heard and again my husband was pissed and needed another break and left town. He just couldn't take my side and trust me. 4 months of nothing to do with the OM and my husband runs again? So after an entire week of the OM threatening to show up at my house, which is don't know how he figured out, I freaked out it would be to much drama for my kids, neighbors and husband so I agreed to meet him in Dallas which I did, but did not tell my husband. I had hoped the OM would be gone, my husband swore ge would back me from then on to get hi. Gone. But it all came out the wk after Easter. The OM text my husband everything. So here we are again. I came clean about it all to my husband. That night my husband even assaulted me and claimed he would kill me and bury me where no one would find me. Never in 18 yrs had I saw hi like that. My husban d has cheated sooooo many times, he claims that him not telling me things isn't him lieing. Ummmm. So it has now been 2 months my husbands been gone. He's giving me NC. our youngest fell off a chair and broke her wrist a dew weeks ago, had to get a cast and he couldn't be there for that so I calked the OM out of the blue and he flew here the next morning. Wring of me! Yes, but I'm sick of all the baggage on me! Alone! So as of niw, my husband claims NC doesn't know if he wants to work it out. Really? When you've known about EVERYTHING ALL THESE YEARS, ALLOWED ANOTHER MAN TO TAKE CARE OF UR WIFE AND KIDS, NOT BACK ME ON WHAT UR TELLING ME TO DO AND THROW THIS OUT AGAIN? Really, I need advice on this. I'm at the end. I've never wanted anyone but my husband I've showed it, but I also never wanted a husband that digs us a grave and walks away whenever he wants. He's cheated, lied, left stole you name it and I've took it. But I'm the ***** now? I own my mistakes, but I'm not goin g to be pissed on any longer. Advice please.
I am 33 years old, my husband us 37. We have been together for 18 years last month, married 12 this past December. We have 3 amazing kids ages 12,10,6. It has been a long road fir us. He has always been an athlete and is 7 foot so he's always been a basketball player from the day I met him. We went to the same high school. Long story short, after high school I stayed (waited) for him while he bounced from college to college playing ball. Finally after my mother passed a year later he and I hit a place together- well he didn't live there he went to play ball in Mexico-so another year I sat and edited for him. Fast forward- we found oh d we were pregnant while finally planning our wedding, so wedding was off until after our son was born.
When my son was 6 months I decided to go to nursing school. After years and years of bring my husbands biggest cheerleader towards his dreams, all he could say to my nursing was " you'll never get in"-I did-"you'll never pass or graduate"-I did-"you'll never get and keep a job" I did I actually kept 3 even when we found out we were pregnant again. Fast forward- I spent years of him being unsupportive, starting his own business which ran us into the ground and then he bluntly blamed me one night," all I do is babysit these f***en kids! I could be going basketball if it wasn't for this!" That same night he admitted to cheating. So, I love him what else was I to do? I left with the kids, moved from Texas to Colorado to gave help from. Y family and give him his time. He gladly helped me pack, then sent me 2 kids and 2 Great Danes on our way and said "love you guys I'll see you in 2weeks! I've got a basketball fame to get to." And he was gone and off we left yo Colorado. The harde st,scariest thing I ever had yo do alone. What man does that? He loved his wife and family sooooo much he claimed, who does that? So as the months pasted, he would come up and visit, was loving and caring but shady and secretive about what he was doing in Texas. After a year of him not willing to move to Colorado, always saying in another month I had it. I filed divorce and told him I'd be seeing other people. He said he didn't want the divorce and he would move soon-another year goes by and I did start seeing someone. I then told him I'd be co i g down yo move him up if he really wanted to be a family, and he finally moved..........2days after moving yo Colorado he left to pick his MOTHER up in North corlina to move into MY(our) small rental!!! I begged him not to, said we needed to work on us first yet he did it anyway. So in comes the mother in law(whom I hardly knew) 3 weeks later he moved his BROTHER in! Ugh! So then the demands of getting a bigger home came in. I was w orking my a** off while they all sat a tho e (she couldn't even watch the kids she claimed due to her heart issues) he was playing pro basketball ( not being paid, but being paid by his aunt who was his "sponsor") I came home to new cars, speakers JUNK everyday!! Yet no house bills were paid, ever which I did catch up and deal with. I had been seeing so done for 5-6 months at that time, nothing g special or serious- and I told my husband it all. I also said ok I'm ready off the divorce, he said"no your going to break it off and we are fixing this marriage" and that was that. I thought it was very odd, hurtful and deceiving. But that's what we did. Fast forward- so next came the HUGE EXPENSIVE home to house our family PKUS his mother and brother. He was still trying to get signed pro but living and spending (without me knowing) like he had already signed a big money deal-never happened. He lied about not paying the mortgage, we both tried for another baby which finally gapoe ned, bought expensive cars, stopped paying bills, borrowed money from MY family behind my back.....and all the while he was GONE trying to get a ball deal making crap for money and lieing about it while continue eing to dig our debt grave.
I finas,y couldn't take it. Police banging on the door constantly with summons, notices of foreclosure, repos, my family attacking me about money he borrowed.....endless. His mother and him both asked that I quit school (I was returning for my BSN) and support him while he lives his dream, and if fords I quit (which I regret to this day). I finally kick his family out and give him husband options- bawling my eyes out (which had hardly ever answered anyway,this night I cannt believe I caught him) I told him he needed to either be home or lay everything out to me and be honest. This was November. (He left the night my daughter was born, leaving me to deal alone and his mother was nothing but a headache!) after he said he couldn't gone home I told him I wanted a divorce and to see other people. He said, don't do that I'll be home in April and we can work. Wth!!! Really???? I did nothing for months, he did come hind and swore he was going to help us get thru alllllllll the debt mess he created...he stayed for 3 weeks, wrote me a nite he had to leave again. In the time he was home a past boyfriend had contacted me on MySpace, which I laughed and let my husband read which was no big deal to him. He left that January. 3 weeks after him leaving here come the lawsuits agin- repos, missed payments, garnishments......on and on. So that night I email the toast boyfriend, and emailed my husband I had enough I was moving on. That started an affair that today is still so what there-5 1/2 years total.
What a crazy 5+ years. My husband has known everything all along, continued to live in Texas, allow (almost make) my OM pay for stuff, help with my kids.....I filled, he still wouldn't sign. I never wanted a life without my husband, never wanted a life with the OM, but NEVER thought my husband would condone this mess. We moved to PENN 3 years ago together, my OM was relentless and I gad to go back to Denver to try and save our house (which should've been long gone and forclosed) and I didn't see the OM, I was committed to fixing us and my marriage and so was he. But out of no where he got another job in Texas and needed to "dump" the kids back with me. I told him I'd stay in PA, so that there would not be any contact with the OM, he refused. Good thing I was fixing our home in Denver or my kids and I would have no place to live. So he went back to texas and we stayed in Denver.
I had a good nurse manager job, he was bouncing jobs again ( he's 37, had a real job starting at age 34- and he's and 5 in that time to now) he again went shady, hard to get ahold of, came up only 2 times last year. The OM was around again, which my husband knew all about. I planned a trip to Hawaii for my kids and my husband and me, have him 6 months notice and he bailed that week. We all knew he would. The OM was I distant he go, me not go alone and he bought the last ticket available 2 days before we left and came to Hawaii, my husband knew from the beginning.
So here's to current. Our home forclosed finally out of no where right after returning from Hawaii. My husband could careless. My kids and I were about to have nowhere to live. The OM was and has been for 4 years begging me for marriage, to move my family in with him to vail Colorado and I always knew I didn't want that. I wanted my husband to BE A FATHER AND HUSBAND!!!! So after the house was gone, I pushed myself to texas and found a house with my husband. We went back and forth, although he hadn't ever wanted the divorce now all of a sudden he didn't know how we would work, but he knew we could. We moved to texas this past September, it's all been hard for the kids and me. The OM has been relentless. Calling and harassing. I finally gave in I. October and saw him. I also so him in November. If I saw him and talked to him he wouldn't freak out and harass my husband. In January it all came to a head. The OM got my home # and called and my husband answered. This pissed off my husband and he claimed we needed a break. How can I help what someone does!!? I couldn't stop him from calling!! I have begged for IC and MC for 10 years, he's never done any! I did do IC on and off for the last 7 years. So my husband left, I ended up seeing the OM that January so I could end it for good ( which I tried a restraining order, cops, and nothing to my benefit) my husband stayed gone for over a month. In that month I hardly if any spoke to the OM, hardly spoke to my husband and he didn't try to see the kids ir call. I found out from online he had been arrested for DUI while we were apart- which he later said he was roofed ANC at a bar not a business dinner. He came home in February, with his job he claims he had to be gone a lot and that he was. Constantly Gond all night, not calling. Just gone. The OM started his craziness again before Easter and called me with my husband on 3way. This whole conversation was still to stay away from me, the OM asked about my hus band and I denied I was with him I fear the OM would start calling him and harassing my husband again, apparently that's the only part my husband heard and again my husband was pissed and needed another break and left town. He just couldn't take my side and trust me. 4 months of nothing to do with the OM and my husband runs again? So after an entire week of the OM threatening to show up at my house, which is don't know how he figured out, I freaked out it would be to much drama for my kids, neighbors and husband so I agreed to meet him in Dallas which I did, but did not tell my husband. I had hoped the OM would be gone, my husband swore ge would back me from then on to get hi. Gone. But it all came out the wk after Easter. The OM text my husband everything. So here we are again. I came clean about it all to my husband. That night my husband even assaulted me and claimed he would kill me and bury me where no one would find me. Never in 18 yrs had I saw hi like that. My husban d has cheated sooooo many times, he claims that him not telling me things isn't him lieing. Ummmm. So it has now been 2 months my husbands been gone. He's giving me NC. our youngest fell off a chair and broke her wrist a dew weeks ago, had to get a cast and he couldn't be there for that so I calked the OM out of the blue and he flew here the next morning. Wring of me! Yes, but I'm sick of all the baggage on me! Alone! So as of niw, my husband claims NC doesn't know if he wants to work it out. Really? When you've known about EVERYTHING ALL THESE YEARS, ALLOWED ANOTHER MAN TO TAKE CARE OF UR WIFE AND KIDS, NOT BACK ME ON WHAT UR TELLING ME TO DO AND THROW THIS OUT AGAIN? Really, I need advice on this. I'm at the end. I've never wanted anyone but my husband I've showed it, but I also never wanted a husband that digs us a grave and walks away whenever he wants. He's cheated, lied, left stole you name it and I've took it. But I'm the ***** now? I own my mistakes, but I'm not goin g to be pissed on any longer. Advice please.
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