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I can't stand that the girl I really like is engaged. I have extreme hatred for her f

there is this tutor I worked with in college for my math class. She is about 28 and I am 22. One thing I notice My class ended but I still see her around a lot on campus and we chat a lot. I have asked questions about this situation before. I realize I have a big crush on her and think about her a lot, but I have zero chance with her because she is engaged and she is older. But despite that I have developed some kind of obsession with her. I think about her all the time and the last time we spoke I secretly switched the recorder on my phone on and recorded the entire conversation, and I listen to it over and over


and the biggest thing, i keep thinking about the next time I see her, I am constantly planning everything about that next time, like exactly what to say or talk about. I have fake conversations with myself pretending it is her. I also feel really mad and jealous I can't get with her

the days I have seen her have been the main highlights for me for this entire year, every time between those days and even right now just feels like a build up to the next time I see her.

honestly, I can't stand that she is with another guy, whenever I see that ring on her finger I want to grab it and smash it to a million pieces. I also like to take a piece of paper and cut it up pretending it is her fiance, and I do imagine hurting him badly or even killing him, I know it is wrong but I can't help myself


is this a problem I should tell someone about, or will I get over it soon? This girl is also rather touchy feely, always patting me on the back or shoulder or side. I wonder why. also, she was my tutor but I still see her around and we chat. She was the one that initiated the first conversation when she saw me, I never initiate conversations with anyone let alone girls

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