I've just finished university, and this should be the time where I'm enjoying my life, but instead I'm sat inside crying every day. I don't have many friends here, and those I do have never want to do anything, so I'm alone most of the time. I'm terrified of not getting the degree I've worked hard for. I don't have any plans after university apart from to move back to my parent's house. I'm broke and I seem to get uglier every time I look in the mirror.
My boyfriend on the other hand is having a great time, going out every night with his friends, chatting to girls (he tells me this, and I don't worry about him cheating, I just feel jealous). He is practically guaranteed a first, and because he works has saved up enough money to go traveling with his friends for six months when uni finishes. After that, he has a job lined up. Everything in his life is perfect apart from me. He's noticed that I've been down recently and has tried to cheer me up and talk to me about it, but I can't tell him that the reason I'm dodging his phone calls and putting off seeing him is because I'm jealous of him.
I'm debating breaking up with him because of how I feel, which I know is pathetic, and will make me feel worse and punish him for my feelings, but I can't help but feel that he deserves someone better whilst I deserve a life of loneliness and unfulfillment. Is there anyone that can sympathise/offer suggestions?
I'm trying to keep myself busy with exercise and hobbies, and doing jobs for odd bits of cash, but it's the evenings which get me, when he's out drinking and I'm alone and bored, as I have been all day.
Put the internet to work for you.
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