I always wonder if there is a way to change a mr negative to be mr positive or it is too late
He is in his 50's, 15 years older than me...I used to think older man should be more mature, doing and handling things more maturely , better in most things than me...
but things didn't turn out that way, older doesn't mean better at all....
but I used to have hopes, I thought maybe he can change, but deep down I know there was a saying " one can change/ move a mountain but not ones planted attitude".
Yesterday, my 10 year old showed him her beautiful creative nail paintings, there were cute colorful leaopard prints . Instead of saying, " wow! That's so cute" , he said, " o.. why these so black" , I couldn't help ,laughed & said, " I knew is gonna be that way". My 10 year old , just ran away from him ,upset. She knows is not easy to get those compliments/ credits from her dad at all.
Lately, I'm into pet- fish, love to see them swim around happily in their little aquarium. I told HB excitedly that a guy is getting rid of his pretty fish cheap and I'm gonna get 2. He said,
" make sure they're not those with illness and get our others sick" . Sigh.... How many of others I have right now, 2 tiny ones.... Why wouldn't he just feel excited with me together, why would him just like to sink others' excitement.
Last dec, the kids have Xmas concerts, they were so excited and happy until they asked the father how was it after it ended. He told them it was boring. My kids were heart broken and I felt sorry for them as I left the concert earlier because it took longer than I expected and I've to work,otherwise their excitement would not be killed if I was there.
One time , my 13 year old niece asked how I deal with this negative man as she couldn't even stand him for 1 weekend. Inside my heart, there was a voice saying," yeah, try to live with him. "
Inside the bedroom, he said your breath smell when we kiss , great , that just end the kissing for this entire life. I didn't react that time because I have real low self esteem @ that time.
Instead of picking on my good part of my body, he would rather pick the flaws, " your skin here kinda course, worse than mine" . Great, I'm 15 years younger and good looking is just not enough for you, I have to come with " perfect skin " too and more.
I changed the kitchen faucet by myself, so proud of myself, HB, instead of saying " you're awesome " etc, he said, " it was easy right?" . I was speechless .....
14 years together, there were a lot more..and I've told him why can't you just point out the good sides if it instead of picking out the down side?? Maybe he is trying but it just well planted inside this man, I always wonder how his co-workers work with him....
He is in his 50's, 15 years older than me...I used to think older man should be more mature, doing and handling things more maturely , better in most things than me...
but things didn't turn out that way, older doesn't mean better at all....
but I used to have hopes, I thought maybe he can change, but deep down I know there was a saying " one can change/ move a mountain but not ones planted attitude".
Yesterday, my 10 year old showed him her beautiful creative nail paintings, there were cute colorful leaopard prints . Instead of saying, " wow! That's so cute" , he said, " o.. why these so black" , I couldn't help ,laughed & said, " I knew is gonna be that way". My 10 year old , just ran away from him ,upset. She knows is not easy to get those compliments/ credits from her dad at all.
Lately, I'm into pet- fish, love to see them swim around happily in their little aquarium. I told HB excitedly that a guy is getting rid of his pretty fish cheap and I'm gonna get 2. He said,
" make sure they're not those with illness and get our others sick" . Sigh.... How many of others I have right now, 2 tiny ones.... Why wouldn't he just feel excited with me together, why would him just like to sink others' excitement.
Last dec, the kids have Xmas concerts, they were so excited and happy until they asked the father how was it after it ended. He told them it was boring. My kids were heart broken and I felt sorry for them as I left the concert earlier because it took longer than I expected and I've to work,otherwise their excitement would not be killed if I was there.
One time , my 13 year old niece asked how I deal with this negative man as she couldn't even stand him for 1 weekend. Inside my heart, there was a voice saying," yeah, try to live with him. "
Inside the bedroom, he said your breath smell when we kiss , great , that just end the kissing for this entire life. I didn't react that time because I have real low self esteem @ that time.
Instead of picking on my good part of my body, he would rather pick the flaws, " your skin here kinda course, worse than mine" . Great, I'm 15 years younger and good looking is just not enough for you, I have to come with " perfect skin " too and more.
I changed the kitchen faucet by myself, so proud of myself, HB, instead of saying " you're awesome " etc, he said, " it was easy right?" . I was speechless .....
14 years together, there were a lot more..and I've told him why can't you just point out the good sides if it instead of picking out the down side?? Maybe he is trying but it just well planted inside this man, I always wonder how his co-workers work with him....
Put the internet to work for you.
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