It's now almost a month since my stbxh ended the possibility of reconciliation for good. He asked for a divorce the first time in March of 2012. I "processed" my grief then by quickly jumping into a rebound relationship. This time, I decided I didn't want to do that. I need to not drag some poor shmuck into my sh*t. I need to get over my ex before I get into another relationship. But, how does one actively do that?
I'm convinced that time alone can't get you over someone. Over time you can get more closed, more bitter, more afraid. So if you want to heal rather than become bitter, what are the steps? I'd been debating this with myself for the first three weeks after the end of reconciliation and realizing I just felt crappy all the time. I mean, yes, makes sense that I would feel crappy, but I think there was an extra added element of crappiness because I was holding on to my grief for the express purpose of "processing" it. Last weekend I did a little meditation on the subject and realized that I don't need to hold onto the hurt. I can feel it and let it go and I did that for a few minutes. Ever since then I've felt much better. Haven't thought of him much. Haven't felt bitter. Haven't CRIED, which I was doing pretty much every day.
Thoughts? What steps have you actively taken to make sure you're healing and not turning bitter?
I'm convinced that time alone can't get you over someone. Over time you can get more closed, more bitter, more afraid. So if you want to heal rather than become bitter, what are the steps? I'd been debating this with myself for the first three weeks after the end of reconciliation and realizing I just felt crappy all the time. I mean, yes, makes sense that I would feel crappy, but I think there was an extra added element of crappiness because I was holding on to my grief for the express purpose of "processing" it. Last weekend I did a little meditation on the subject and realized that I don't need to hold onto the hurt. I can feel it and let it go and I did that for a few minutes. Ever since then I've felt much better. Haven't thought of him much. Haven't felt bitter. Haven't CRIED, which I was doing pretty much every day.
Thoughts? What steps have you actively taken to make sure you're healing and not turning bitter?
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment