Hello,
I was recently married to my high school sweetheart. We've been dating for over 10 years, married for 1.
I had an affair, which she found out about. It nearly tore us apart, but we stayed strong through it.
She is now pregnant. The problem is I can't stop thinking about the woman i had an affair with. I fell deeply in love with her, in a way I've NEVER felt about anyone, including my wife. I know the other woman feels the same way, we've talked about it numerous times and agree we don't want to hurt our significant others, but can't ignore these feelings we have for each other. She is also married with children.
Now i'm in a position where I'm not sure if I should even tell my wife about these still present feelings, being as she is fragile and pregnant. I'm hoping these feelings go away once the baby comes, but is that wrong to rely on the child bringing me back in love with my wife? I'm even considering waiting until after the child is born to tell my wife how I really feel. That I am just in love with someone else. Is that wrong?
No matter what I do, some one will get hurt. But I just can't decide who. Shall I come clean and reveal my feelings to my wife, and if so, do I wait until after the baby is born? Or do I continue holding this in, being EXTREMELY unhappy and depressed, until it HOPEFULLY just goes away? I LOVE and CARE for my wife very much. She is a beautiful person and fantastic life partner. Which is why it hurts so much that I'm unable to ignore these feelings for another woman. I've hurt my wife before, and I think the reason I've procrastinated this long is because I am deathly afraid of hurting her again. I just don't know what to do.
I was recently married to my high school sweetheart. We've been dating for over 10 years, married for 1.
I had an affair, which she found out about. It nearly tore us apart, but we stayed strong through it.
She is now pregnant. The problem is I can't stop thinking about the woman i had an affair with. I fell deeply in love with her, in a way I've NEVER felt about anyone, including my wife. I know the other woman feels the same way, we've talked about it numerous times and agree we don't want to hurt our significant others, but can't ignore these feelings we have for each other. She is also married with children.
Now i'm in a position where I'm not sure if I should even tell my wife about these still present feelings, being as she is fragile and pregnant. I'm hoping these feelings go away once the baby comes, but is that wrong to rely on the child bringing me back in love with my wife? I'm even considering waiting until after the child is born to tell my wife how I really feel. That I am just in love with someone else. Is that wrong?
No matter what I do, some one will get hurt. But I just can't decide who. Shall I come clean and reveal my feelings to my wife, and if so, do I wait until after the baby is born? Or do I continue holding this in, being EXTREMELY unhappy and depressed, until it HOPEFULLY just goes away? I LOVE and CARE for my wife very much. She is a beautiful person and fantastic life partner. Which is why it hurts so much that I'm unable to ignore these feelings for another woman. I've hurt my wife before, and I think the reason I've procrastinated this long is because I am deathly afraid of hurting her again. I just don't know what to do.
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