Last night my DW (36) informed me that my MIL (60) will be moving in with us in 3 days. This is the 3rd time in 4 years she will be living with us. The last 2 times each lasted about 9 months. MIL is jobless and penniless and has been living in a house SIL bought for her to rent a year ago. Now that relationship has deteriorated and SIL is selling the house.
I am so mad about this. DW and I discussed her mother moving to our city and DW mentioned MIL wanted to move here, but did not want our assistance and did not want to live with us. That she was going to get a job here and then move down. DW asked if I would mind if when the time came if she flew up to help MIL move. I said that I had no problem with that.
Now DW is trying to tell me that during this conversation I agreed to helping MIL and her moving into our house for 30 days. She has already told MIL that she could move in and that we had talked about it. I of course, never agreed to this. There is no way I would have agreed to this and DW knows it. She then told me I am a jerk for not letting her move in and is trying to guilt me into it.
The hardest part of this entire thing is that DW has been very loving and attentive to me the past couple of weeks. I really, really wanted this to be because she wanted to make me happy and loved me. Now I realize the only reason she was doing it was because she wanted something for MIL. I feel so stupid for receiving her attention and being receptive. I don't know how I am ever going to know what DW's intentions are whenever she treats me nice again. I feel so manipulated.
I left the house last night after this argument and came home after DW was in bed. I left this morning for work. I don't want to see my MIL homeless, but she will not take care of herself. At this point, I have so much resentment over MIL I am not sure where to go or what to do.
I am so mad about this. DW and I discussed her mother moving to our city and DW mentioned MIL wanted to move here, but did not want our assistance and did not want to live with us. That she was going to get a job here and then move down. DW asked if I would mind if when the time came if she flew up to help MIL move. I said that I had no problem with that.
Now DW is trying to tell me that during this conversation I agreed to helping MIL and her moving into our house for 30 days. She has already told MIL that she could move in and that we had talked about it. I of course, never agreed to this. There is no way I would have agreed to this and DW knows it. She then told me I am a jerk for not letting her move in and is trying to guilt me into it.
The hardest part of this entire thing is that DW has been very loving and attentive to me the past couple of weeks. I really, really wanted this to be because she wanted to make me happy and loved me. Now I realize the only reason she was doing it was because she wanted something for MIL. I feel so stupid for receiving her attention and being receptive. I don't know how I am ever going to know what DW's intentions are whenever she treats me nice again. I feel so manipulated.
I left the house last night after this argument and came home after DW was in bed. I left this morning for work. I don't want to see my MIL homeless, but she will not take care of herself. At this point, I have so much resentment over MIL I am not sure where to go or what to do.
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