Hi, everyone. This is my first time posting on a site like this. Basically, I'm having some trouble and need somewhere to think out loud, in a sense. Any feedback or advice you'd like to offer would be greatly appreciated.
Here's my story: A few months back, I met a girl online (she's 18, I'm 20, both in college) and quickly developed a strong emotional relationship with her. She lives a few states away (around 8 hours) and after months of texting and facetiming every night, sharing our hopes, dreams, deepest fantasies, and even confessing that we had fallen in love with one another, we agreed to meet in person at her house to spend the weekend together.
I made the trip, and honestly, things went very well. Obviously it was awkward for an hour or two, seeing as it was our first time together, but afterward, we got along fine, her parents liked me, and we had a generally good time together. It was a great weekend, and I was quite sure upon leaving that this girl was exactly the same girl in person as the one I had fallen for.
Shortly after leaving, however, she basically told me that she felt "no spark" and wanted to call it quits. I was then forced to make the all day drive home with nothing to keep me company but my mind, which of course, was running wild the entire time. The breakup was amiable though, she told me that she still loved me, that she even thought I was handsome, but that there was no chemistry (a feeling I did not share with her) and that she wanted to remain friends. In the past months, I treated her like a princess, and honestly, she doesn't deserve any less, because she's a great girl. Basically, she told me that on paper I was the perfect boyfriend, but she still couldn't be in a relationship with me.
In the days since, we've still texted, facetimed, laughed and cried together, but the fact remains that I am still in love with her, and she is not in love with me. What doesn't make sense to me is that she continually insists that there is no spark between us. To me, that doesn't add up, because before I visited her, we were absolutely attracted to each other, and on a few occasions made it very clear how much we wanted each other sexually. What I'm wondering now is what my next move should be. I still love her very much, and am not opposed to being her friend, but the fact remains that the thought of her with another guy makes me want to pull my hair out.
Am I crazy in thinking that this spark is something extremely abstract she's chasing? Or more plausible, that she only didn't feel it that weekend, but is actually there, and just hasn't been revealed in person yet (this girl told me she wanted me to take her virginity not 2 weeks prior). I fully understand that this is not something she intended to feel. I'm not mad, just severely upset, because this was a relationship that I feel was very special, and the bond we had was strong. It only makes it that much harder knowing that there is no one to be angry with, and nothing that I did wrong that I could even offer to work on.
Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated. Thank you so much for reading my story.
Just a quick edit for some background info. My gf and I had never fought, never even really been annoyed with one another, so the idea that this was some excuse to cover up some lingering problem isn't that plausible.
Here's my story: A few months back, I met a girl online (she's 18, I'm 20, both in college) and quickly developed a strong emotional relationship with her. She lives a few states away (around 8 hours) and after months of texting and facetiming every night, sharing our hopes, dreams, deepest fantasies, and even confessing that we had fallen in love with one another, we agreed to meet in person at her house to spend the weekend together.
I made the trip, and honestly, things went very well. Obviously it was awkward for an hour or two, seeing as it was our first time together, but afterward, we got along fine, her parents liked me, and we had a generally good time together. It was a great weekend, and I was quite sure upon leaving that this girl was exactly the same girl in person as the one I had fallen for.
Shortly after leaving, however, she basically told me that she felt "no spark" and wanted to call it quits. I was then forced to make the all day drive home with nothing to keep me company but my mind, which of course, was running wild the entire time. The breakup was amiable though, she told me that she still loved me, that she even thought I was handsome, but that there was no chemistry (a feeling I did not share with her) and that she wanted to remain friends. In the past months, I treated her like a princess, and honestly, she doesn't deserve any less, because she's a great girl. Basically, she told me that on paper I was the perfect boyfriend, but she still couldn't be in a relationship with me.
In the days since, we've still texted, facetimed, laughed and cried together, but the fact remains that I am still in love with her, and she is not in love with me. What doesn't make sense to me is that she continually insists that there is no spark between us. To me, that doesn't add up, because before I visited her, we were absolutely attracted to each other, and on a few occasions made it very clear how much we wanted each other sexually. What I'm wondering now is what my next move should be. I still love her very much, and am not opposed to being her friend, but the fact remains that the thought of her with another guy makes me want to pull my hair out.
Am I crazy in thinking that this spark is something extremely abstract she's chasing? Or more plausible, that she only didn't feel it that weekend, but is actually there, and just hasn't been revealed in person yet (this girl told me she wanted me to take her virginity not 2 weeks prior). I fully understand that this is not something she intended to feel. I'm not mad, just severely upset, because this was a relationship that I feel was very special, and the bond we had was strong. It only makes it that much harder knowing that there is no one to be angry with, and nothing that I did wrong that I could even offer to work on.
Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated. Thank you so much for reading my story.
Just a quick edit for some background info. My gf and I had never fought, never even really been annoyed with one another, so the idea that this was some excuse to cover up some lingering problem isn't that plausible.
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