Background: Been separated/divorced from the kid's dad for about 3.5 years. He has already remarried. I have 2a boys, 10 and 16. The 16 year old doesnt want anything hardly to do with his dad. He says its because he doesnt like the new wife. He says it feels awkward over at his house. He has told his dad he wants to spend time with him, but not with the new wife around. The results so far have been absolutely no time being spent with his dad. My younger son goes pretty regularly.
I have been seeing someone for almost a year now and we are pretty serious. I introduced him to the kids slowly and tried to be respectful. My boys adore him and his entire family. They love spending time with him.......as long as its at our house.
For some reason, the boys DO NOT want anything to do with things away from "home." Its not generally too much of a problem.....they are introverts and i try to respect that. But my bf (pretty much fiancee) and i are planning on moving in together (his house) next summer.
We would just do it now, but both boys are balking BADLY. They both cant tell me an exact reason as to why they dont want to, they just dont.
My ex thrust his new wife on the kids as a "take it or leave it" situation and as a result it destroyed his relationship with my oldest. Ive tried to be respectful, give them their time, space, etc, but im worried. They are both aware that we are going to move this summer (not far, much better house, etc.) Its going to be a vetter situation all around. I even mentioned casually the other day that we were probably going to get married one day (because we are, lol) but my oldest FLIPPED. Said hes not ok with that AT ALL.
I know change is hard, and I know that they've gone through a lot in the past couple years. But life is about change and i am NOT making this move for any reason except that I love this man and want to make a life with him. I have been fully supporting myself and my boys and have thought long and hard about whether I wanted to put us through this. Any advice on how to handle my kiddos is GREATLY appreciated. And yes, my fiancee knows about all this and is perfectly ok with waiting until this summer to try and give them time to adjust. We have been staying over there more and more frequently on weekends too and will be spending Christmas week there as well.
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I have been seeing someone for almost a year now and we are pretty serious. I introduced him to the kids slowly and tried to be respectful. My boys adore him and his entire family. They love spending time with him.......as long as its at our house.
For some reason, the boys DO NOT want anything to do with things away from "home." Its not generally too much of a problem.....they are introverts and i try to respect that. But my bf (pretty much fiancee) and i are planning on moving in together (his house) next summer.
We would just do it now, but both boys are balking BADLY. They both cant tell me an exact reason as to why they dont want to, they just dont.
My ex thrust his new wife on the kids as a "take it or leave it" situation and as a result it destroyed his relationship with my oldest. Ive tried to be respectful, give them their time, space, etc, but im worried. They are both aware that we are going to move this summer (not far, much better house, etc.) Its going to be a vetter situation all around. I even mentioned casually the other day that we were probably going to get married one day (because we are, lol) but my oldest FLIPPED. Said hes not ok with that AT ALL.
I know change is hard, and I know that they've gone through a lot in the past couple years. But life is about change and i am NOT making this move for any reason except that I love this man and want to make a life with him. I have been fully supporting myself and my boys and have thought long and hard about whether I wanted to put us through this. Any advice on how to handle my kiddos is GREATLY appreciated. And yes, my fiancee knows about all this and is perfectly ok with waiting until this summer to try and give them time to adjust. We have been staying over there more and more frequently on weekends too and will be spending Christmas week there as well.
Posted via Mobile Device
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