Little lie?

So I haven't been on here in a long time, so obviously things are going pretty well in my marriage. There was an incident over the weekend that has me scratching my head. I have called her on it somewhat, but wanted some insight from the people on the board. Here is what happened: My wife talked to me on Thursday and asked if it would be alright for her to go to dinner and drinks with her cousin on Friday night. We didn't have plans, it obviously sounds like a normal evening out with her cousin, so I said it was fine. Her cousin is having some marital issues of her own, and is kind of going down a similar path my wife did back in the day in regard to seeking out male attention to make herself feel better (must run in the family?). I know she does this because my wife tells me about it and is contemplating sitting her cousin down to tell her she needs to go to counseling with her husband to sort out their issues (they have many). So given her cousin's actions in the past, I am a bit leery of them going out in certain settings. They went out about 6 months ago to a concert at a smaller venue and her cousin was talking to a member of the band between sets. After the concert, her cousin wanted her and my wife to go backstage to hang out with the band . My wife knew it was not an appropriate situation and said no. Her cousin pressed my wife and questioned what the big deal was, but my wife insisted that she would not do that to me, that she would feel guilty if she did and did not tell me, and knew that if she did and she told me, that I would be upset with her. So obviously the cousin is not the greatest influence on her. So they have gone out in the past to certain bars that are known locally as pick-up joints. Her cousin goes out of her way to garner male attention and fully embraces it. Well generally men aren't alone, and friends will follow and then eventually put my wife into situations where men are hitting on her, etc. So I have expressed my displeasure for this bar in particular, and have made it clear that I am not comfortable with her going there, particularly with her cousin. They will generally meet for dinner and drinks at a couple of different restaurants about once a month or so, which to me is just fine. So I told her it was fine to meet her cousin for dinner and drinks after work on Friday, and she sent me an email on Friday morning while I was at work, reminding me she was going out and told me she was going to the main restaurant they generally go to. I headed home and had a quiet evening at home. My wife got home around 10:30, which struck me as late, but in honesty, I've been out until a similar time with my friends having a few extra drinks after dinner. Well yesterday, my curiosity got the best of me and I looked through her phone. Her texts back and forth with her cousin were in it, and I read one that said they were going to meet at the newly opened, 2nd location of the pick-up joint that we specifically had a discussion about me not liking her to go to with her cousin. So I now knew that she did not go where she had initially told me she was going. I didn't look further at this point, but did notice a to-go box in the fridge, so I asked her if she ate her usual menu item at the restaurant they usually go to. She openly told me that she went to the new location of the pick-up joint, that they wanted to check it out and see what it was like. I didn't press the issue for whatever reason, because she so openly admitted that they had gone there. Well yesterday, I looked through her phone again to see if there were any additional texts detailing their plans for that night. Well as I am looking, the initial text was from her cousin asking if she could go out on Friday. My wife then responded (after talking to me) that she was in. The cousin then said she really wanted to go out for drinks and dancing, and suggested either the pick-up joint or another pick-up joint. My wife then wrote back and suggested the new location of the pick-up joint. The cousin agreed to go there and my wife said she meet her there at 7 on Friday. All of these texts were sent on Thursday the 4th during the afternoon. So as of Thursday afternoon, this was the plan, that they were going to the new location of the pick-up joint. The email my wife sent me telling me she was going out to their usual restaurant was sent on Friday morning the 5th. So she openly lied about where she was going. This is what bothers me. Obviously. So today, I replied to her email from Friday morning where she told me she was going to their usual spot, and told her I was bothered by the change in venue, that she knew I didn't like her going there, and at what point was it decided to go to the pick-up joint? She replied that it was a last minute decision, that her cousin wanted to check out the new patio at the place (Lie #2). She said she was inconsiderate and should have thought about my not wanting her to go there and should have told her cousin they were going to stick with the original destination (Lie #3, it was her idea to go to the pick-up joint). She basically apologized up and down for not taking my feelings into consideration, and she agreed that her cousin is a bad influence and that even though they were at the pick-up joint, that she felt that they would be out of there early enough to avoid the guys hitting on them. She said she was later getting home because she and her cousin talked in the parking lo t for 45 minutes before they finally left. I told her I did not appreciate her going to a spot regardless that she knew made me feel uncomfortable. That I do not trust her cousin to not put her into a situation she should not be in, and that I would hope in the future that she would take my feelings into consideration. I have not told her I know she is lying, as I don't want to put it out there that I looked through her phone. I guess I don't know why she even came out and admitted that she went there in the first place so openly if she was going to lie about whose idea it was to go there. The fact that she brazenly lied about where she was going on Friday morning, to me says she absolutely knew she shouldn't be going there, and that she is now lying to cover up that this was the planned destination all along makes it even worse.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979