I am lost in the woods

I've have been married for almost six years now. My wife and I married young. I was 21 and she was 20. We knew that there would be difficulties about being so young. We have two sons and things seemed like they were going well this last year. Our relationship is unusual for most people. We have an open marriage. The first time she hooked up with another man it was a culture shock for me. We had some problems but I have adjusted. The logic was there but it took a couple of weeks for my emotions to catch up. Now I am not perfect, I am impulsive and excitable. Her biggest complaint right now is that she feels as though I don't listen to her and that I NEED her. And for two years of my marriage I was not taking care of my responsibilities. I was not really looking for a job kind of just sitting on my ass. Yes I know that I screwed up there. But over the last 18 months I have been working a dead end job while I try to do a career change. Been taking care of the house, kids, my wife and just trying to do. Started taking better care of myself, you know the works. A couple of weeks ago she told me that she loved me but was not in love with me. Ok that hurt but I thought that if we kept working on it maybe it would get better. Yesterday she told me that she didn't know if she even cared if we worked everything out. We are looking for a marriage counsler and are going to try to work things out. But with two kids whom if we don't work I will not get to see them often. Not because of her but I will have to move and that will put a major distance between my children and I. And I still love her even after all of this. At this point I wonder if all the work I have done is even doing anything.

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