7 Months since D-day and even harder now

I don't have time to write all that has happened in terms of TT, finding more out about what he did etc, but me and WS joined this site sometime early January I think. The short of the story is he cheated on me 9 times he admits with prostitutes. At first he didn't accept the fact that he was a sex addict, but after a few days of first hearing it, he embraced it and an online recovery program. That only lasted a few weeks and he was just half ass delving into the whole recovery process, not cheating, but still lying and has been as late as of last week, about all he did with the hookers. He is in counseling with a SA specialist and joined a 12 step SA group, but he has still been lying and minimizing what he did with them and other details concerning the infidelity two years ago. He is doing a of things right, transparent with receipts, time, I have all access to his laptop, phone etc and he has found and accepted God for the first time in his life. I am having the biggest problem with the reality of what he did, but mostly the lying. He has known since day one what TT does and has still done it and I am 99% sure I still don't know half of what he has done. He is willing to take a poly but we don't have the money right now. I am on the roller coaster and know its partly due to the fact that I never get a chance to even begin to heal because of the new lies and new info cropping up every few weeks. I also am really struggling with how to keep my self respect and stay with someone who would betray and cheat and lie to me like this. He thinks we can make it through this and never wants to stop trying, but my heart just isn't in it most days. Thanks for reading if you got to the end.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979