Emotional Abuse?

My husband of 5 years does things like this: goes to social gatherings at his (single)ex-wife's house and stays for 8 hours because his adult son was there. Planned a 1.5 hour trip with just himself and his ex-wife to pick up adult daughter at airport. Said if I don't like it "that's my problem". But NO WAY would I even joke about ME doing these things with my ex. Also he is very passive aggressive. When we(my daughter and me &my husband, his minor child, and elderly father, moved in together we discussed who will pay what. He was to pay for groceries. His minor child is only here E/O week. The oppposite week, we go hungry. (I have my daughter all but 8 days a month). I have nothing after I pay bills, so I have racked up $3,500 in cc debt because I refuse to have me and my daughter go without food(of course). I call it his PA-starvation-tecnique. My husband threatened me with violence last night for the first time. I talked to a male frien for too long and he told me he doesn't WANT to hurt me or anyone else, but the fact that he doesn;t WANT to wont stop him. There are good things about being married to this man, but everything feels different now that he has threatened me.

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