Keeping old photos of previous marriage(s) etc?

When we got together I had thousands of pictures on my computer, being somewhat of a shutter bug. Prior to digital, I had a lot of 35mm pictures. Many included my first and second wife. I had them in a box, they didn't mean all that much to me as it's ancient history. But the new wife found them and flipped out. It was my box of "woulda shoulda coulda" memories. Said she'd gotten rid of everything from her past, except a couple pictures of her first wedding day, pictures she's given to her daughter because that's her daughter's "starting point." I'm ok with that. She tossed them out and insisted I clean out my digital collection as well. So I did. This was almost two years ago. Just today I was in our new (since Nov 2011) joint email account, and found a couple photos she had transferred from her old account that were taken by her married boss AP (same one she later screwed around on me with) from a trip they had taken to the middle east in Dec 09 (work trips are paid-for fantasy land vacations aren't they?). As much as she flipped out about long-dead relationship pictures, this one stabbed me right in the crotch. She said they got there entirely by mistake, and if she had seen them they would've been deleted. When I told her I found them (over the phone today), it obviously affected her a lot. She felt really bad, really bad for me, and said it made her feel like she'd done something wrong, as in two years ago. I believe her, as R has been real, and this wasn't real sneaky since it's our only email (joint) account. I could've looked there any time. So certain pictures I thought were non-issues but they were to her, and she says she had no idea those two pictures were in our joint email account. They weren't him/her pictures, just a gut shot to me because of her affair with him while with me. They obviously ARE an issue to me, but I feel an even bigger issue because of the affair. I'm wondering out loud here if this is a trigger issue for anyone else, and what steps others may have taken to ensure there are no "woulda shoulda" boxes in their house.

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