When do you give up?

When do you give up hoping your wife will have sex or even be interested in having sex with you? We've been together for about 18 years and she has had ups and downs in terms of interest, but in the end, turns me down more than agrees. And by agree, that's pretty much what if feels like. She doesn't really have an 'in the mood' reaction, it's more of a 'sure, I'll give up sleep for you to do something'. I've been pretty HD our whole marriage, and generally take care of things myself as often, or more often than having sex with her. Out of curiousity, I even started a log last year to track how many times we did it together, versus me alone. We have sex, but only when she wants to. Like tonight, it was early, ~10sh, kids long since in bed, I drop some hints, and she just declares, "nope, I'm going to bed". I guess it kind of urks me that she will just declare yes or no. On top of this, she just doesn't seem to enjoy sex, or any variation (oral). One by one, 'options' are crossed off. She doesn't like this, doesn't like that... We are down to about 2 or 3 different activities/positions. For example, A few days ago, I indicated that I wanted to perform oral on her.... Well 12 hours and a dozen convenient interruptions later, she lets me start. Now, I think I'm pretty good, but after about 10 minutes, she wasn't getting anything out of it. We finished by hand. Talking to her tonight, she said she just doesn't get anything out of it. Which is a total disappointment for me because I DO like it. Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling, but I just can't help think, when is enough, enough? I read some of the posts here about happy marriages or HD women (yes, I know there are a lot of not so happy postings), and it brings tears to my eyes. I often think about divorce, or R&R- regret and resentment. Which grows every time she turns me down. Thoughts?????

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