Husband not good enough?

Hello everyone, I am in an arranged marriage, which essentially means I did not really know the kind of guy my husband is before we got married. I have lived with him now for a year and over time our sex life has gone from bad to worse (I was initially hoping he would learn to recognize my needs, later I even resorted to telling him what I desire, yet I am not satisfied in bed. I feel there is room for so much more which is unmet) and I know that he is not the kind of person who will read all the wonderful material that is available to him to learn what he needs to do. On the other hand his sexual needs are more than met and I have given him orgasms that made him pass out. I desire for such fantastic sexual experiences. Also he takes me for granted, in that he is never appreciative of my beauty or body or the time I am willing to give him. He also cheated on me during our 8 month engagement period with a 40 year old woman (his ex) ( I am 25). I have forgiven him for the most part but I am unable to get over this past too (he has asked for forgivence). This has lead me several times to decide to quit this marriage an d leave and he was always ready to let me go but I persisted, hoping it would work. This is slowly turning into resentment in me. It has crept into every aspect of our life together. I dont feel sexy or desired, I don't feel any companionship with him, I feel like he is not man enough for me. Although he is a good man, very kind and quite understanding. He is a nice guy for the most part I guess. As a result I keep thinking about my ex and the great sex and companionship we shared. We had to part ways because he is in the military of another country and my mother's position as a government official meant that if we were to stay together then he almost has to forgo his career (which has been his dream since childhood). I jumped into my marriage right after my break up with my ex because i was scared to be alone, not because I was particularly attracted to my husband (My biggest mistake in life so far!) Now I have come to the position where I realize that my husband is probably not the right person for me. He is just not matured and manly enough for me I feel. But I feel torn. I don't know if I should just leave this relationship and wait for my ex to come back to me (my ex and I haven't spoken about this) or I should persist in the marriage and teach my husbands the things he needs to know to be a good husband for me (My ex and I, still talk to each other and he gave me a book by David Deida to give my husband and we made a sort of plan to get him to read the book and learn to love me completely) I am torn, we are going to marriage counselling this week, but I dont know what good it is going to make. My thoughts are to leave him and wait for my ex. Any thoughts anybody? Is it right to leave him or should I try to make him the person I want him to be ( is it ethical to try to change him like that? Although if anything it is going to benefit him to learn those things)

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