I dont know what to do

I'm at my last resort. I caught my wife cheating on me Dec 6 2012. For the most part i was a emotional affair but i think the night i caught her it went physical. The guy she was talking to was just going through his wife leaving him so my understanding was he was vulnerable and was still into his wife but confused. My wife started chatting with him in think in October that's the farthest i was able to go back on all stuff i had access to. She tried to kiss him was but was reject by him. But she kept pursuing this guy and making him feel wanted. Ok now my issue, when i caught her she said she cut it off with him. I was not there to witness it, but she no longer has him friend-ed on face book and i no longer see any text messages from them. So only proof i have is her word. She has not once wanted to talk about this at all. She says her way to heal is to not talk about it. Covenant for her. I would try to accept this but there are times i cant so i try to talk about it and i get the same response. Each time i try to talk about it she get angrier and angrier each time saying i keep trying to relive this. During the first month we were sexual almost every night. But a few days later it would come back to me about what she did and poof once again brick wall. She always tells me she is not emotional and don't like to express her feelings. So 3 weeks ago i decided i got tired of hearing how emotional she says she is not and brought up the text messages i saw between her and the guy. She was emotional in those and had no problem expressing to him how she felt. She snapped, was all pissed about how i cant let this go. About 30 mins into this she finally opens up and tells me all the stuff i have done wrong for her to want to cheat. I do accept that i was not there for her emotional and i would turn down sex a lot due to stress and being tired from a labor job. I realize all the stuff i was doing to show her i love her wasn't enough. So we get through that. She has said this whole time that she wants to save are marriage. But since that blow up are sex has decreased to maybe twice a weekend which i have to initiate. If there is any contact i have to initiate. kisses, hugs, cuddling ect. She feel exactly the same as she did when she was having the affair but even more distant. She says she is walking on egg shells cause she is afraid what ever she says i take wrong and ill get depressed. which yes is true. But at this moment she will not talk about anything to do with her affair. Every time i try she gets agitated and its never the right time. So last night we had a good day, so i try to be intimate with her. Once again she says she is to tired. She has been saying this for 3 weeks now. We don't really have intimate kisses just quick pecks even when I'm trying to make love to my wife. Lately when we do its can you be quick or we have to throw in a adult movie, i think that's so she can get in the mood. So i get reject and of course i cant sleep, So i mention while laying there are you even still attracted to me. She says of course i am, your still my husband. I have brought up counseling but it has to be convenient for her when we go. So we don't go. I don't know what to do, she has not done anything to regain my trust and when i tell her that i have a hard time trusting he,r she get agitated. It has hardly been 2 months and she thinks i should be over this and moving on. I cant, at this moment and the more it goes on this way the more i contemplate if she is just acting like she is making a effort and just waiting for me to pull the plug so she can go chasing after the guy she was getting attached to. Ive mentioned that and all she says i chose you. She does tell me she love me, but she would say that when she was texting this guy and having feelings for this guy. I have a 2 1/2 year old autistic child. So if i leave to separate, i feel like I'm leaving my child and leaving her to deal with him all alone. I'm afraid if i do leave for a while, she go crawling back to him. I so messed up, i don't know what to do. I feel like my w ife is making little to no attempt. I could go on with stuff that i was unhappy about with her, which when we had the blow up i told her. But she has not shown any signs of changing any of that stuff. She just act like she has given up on life and is just living, and just wants things to go back to the way they were before she made her choice. Do i starting getting ready to divorce, do i keep fighting this pain I'm in and suck it up and bury it and live with it and hope she doesn't do this again. HELP. I'm half tempted to tell my wife's parents to watch my kid tonight and set her down and just let go on everything, we have kept everyone out of the loop but her best friend and a couple of my friends, but no one else knows. But i know deep inside this is gonna push her farther and possibly over the edge. I'm so screwed. I need advice badly or i might do something that will destroy what ever we have left to save. I am sorry for the poor grammar. please don't critique that i have other issues then grammar at this moment. Please feel free to ask questions, ill answer everything i can. I have left many things out to try to make this shorter. So please ask if you have question, and please help me.

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