Standards of fidelity very low in town...

Just noticed really that a vast majority of other relationships I notice here in my hometown are/have been all cheaters. Both men/women with 2+ boyfriends/girlfriends to the point that infidelity is pretty much accepted and even forgiven for serial cheaters. For the married folk it's much more underground and private. Some of my mates reckon I kick myself up too much over what I did years ago and that my wife shouldn't be worried about and that she should be forgiving and that I shouldn't call myself a cheater... Well you be the judge: When I cheated my wife and I were just bf/gf at the time. We were going through a very rough patch with interreligious issues and we had both droughts and real bad fights. Our relationship status was on the edge of a full breakup but for many of my mates they reckoned we've already broken up but neither of us wanted to let go. It was during this time that I got myself drunk and had a one night stand with a woman which I don't remember much of. Regardless of whether I even stuck it in before passing out became irrelevant as it was a cheat regardless. When my wife/gf at the time found it, that was the end of it. It took a very long time to reconcile even as friends and we didn't even reconcile as lovers. Instead, she fell pregnant (yes, we were having sex even then), and she wanted to keep the child. So we both decided that even though we're not ready, let's go through with it and see what happens -> the beginning of a 4 year toxic marriage. Now... what I want to know, is whether: 1) I am a cheater, folks in RL are treating infidelity too casually 2) I'm not a cheater, we're taking it too seriously and it's affecting our lives and both of us should move on. 3) Or something else?

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