help please 2x4s welcome

My story in brief: me 48 H 37 married 12 yrs no kids End of Sept 2012 H goes to ireland for work, doesnt come back, doesn't return calls. Finaly calls, gives me ILYBIMILWY speech. says he wants to be alone. End Nov, discover via a so-called friend H is seeing someone and living with her. H still wont talk to me nor has seen me since. Only communicates via text. He always says hope me and the animals are fine. (two dogs and three cats) but these are just words it seems. He says he knows he has treated me like sh1t. Still hurts tho. Had first conversation three days ago, regarding my possible bankruptcy. He actually talked to me but did not reveal or open up much. Says he feels guilty and remorseful and is thinking of moving to California on a whim. He is going to be seeing a counsellor starting Tues. Sometimes I think I feel detached and just wish him well. Othertimes I can't believe he has done this! Yes he has a lot of baggage and was very unhappy but still he cheated on me, hooked up with her in a bar. His sister who I am very close with, thinks he is a total sh1t and says she doesn't even think he's happy with his posOW. Must be some hell of a good f*ck then! The whole of 2012 my H's business went tits up. he has worked nearly every day for the past several years. I know he has been depressed for some time. I think he had a MLC/breakdown. He is broke now and owes plenty of people money. When he left he said he would not leave me in the sh1t as I am severely in debt, debt which he accrued in my name as he wasn't able to qualify for loans and such. All of the debt went to supporting the business. He is trying to rebuild things but its not easy. He moved to Bristol for work and his gf followed him, she is on the dole now. The reality however is that I am facing bankruptcy now, my January rent has only been half paid. I am scared. My H promises he will sort it but he is obviously struggling. The rent is in both our names. Having said that, Im sure his flat in Bristol is up to date in rent! I know I have been too easy on him as I felt bad for him. Yes I know the 2x4s are coming my way, thats fine. I wanted to R. He says he is confused. I dont know the posOW so cant expose her but have exposed my H to friends and family. It didnt have much impact on him, in fact he has very little consequence. I cannot file for D as he is still paying me some rent and bills, and I cant pay for a thing on my own. I won't get a penny in D anyway and I certainly can't afford D as have just £60 left to my name. I havent worked in years, am looking for work but its tough. I am very depressed and on medication to help, but I really am at the bottom. Feel like there's nothing left for me. I wish I could wake him up from his fog. Im probably going to evicted soon with no rent being paid, feeling scared as hell. We were very close and loving all our married life. I'm left having to deal with everything on my own. If I didn't have the animals, I know I'd never get up from bed and would probably be thinking seriously about doing myself in. (|I think about it now but won't do it) advice? 2x4? suggestions? I know there's not much anyone can say. I am truly at the bottom now. Link for my thread in D&S: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/going-t...-thriving.html

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