Can't do this anymore......

I've been married 12.5 years, together 14+ years. My husband had a 1 yr old daughter from a previous marriage when I met him. When his daughter was 6, I adopted her. Her mother gave up her rights. My husband seems unable to parent/discipline her or hold her accountable. To make matters worse, he grew up with a stepdad that was very demeaning. He projects his experience with his stepdad on my relationship with his(now ours since I adopted her) daughter. He makes rules and consequences for her and can't follow through with them. He accuses me of being too harsh on her. When we decide on a rule or consequence and he caves to her. She is now 16. She lies and snuck her boyfriend in the house at night last summer, several times apparently, and had sex with him...while we're at home! I feel she acts as if she is entitled to everything due to my husbands parenting which I can only assume comes from a place of guilt and childhood issues he's not ever gotte n over. Meanwhile we have two children together, 11 yr old dd and 9yr old ds. My husband treats our son unfairly and is annoyed by every little thing he does. I don't understand it. I want my husband to take the 16 year old and leave!! I don't know what to do! I can't see taking the kids (our bio kids) away from their dad. But dh husband travels for work and is only home on weekends now anyway. He talks of getting a job locally and while I think it would be great for our kids, I'm afraid we would just fight more....

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