Wife had affair. 2kids..please advise on how to deal

My W and I have 2 young children.. 2 and 3 1/2 ... been together for 6 years...Shes 30 i'm 40 ..We traveled everywhere together and then had 2 kids back to back.. I took a consulting job which required extensive travel at her encouragement ..and we had arguments ever since... she has always resorted to violence when mad about anything and last year it got out of control... she said she wanted seperation and then joined 3 dating websites and then starting communication with a man 50 years old everyday.. meeting for lunch and God knows what else.. I confronted her about it and she took the defensive.. She moved out and we now live in separate houses for the past 4 months. I spend more time with the kids than I ever have before but long for my marraige to be reconciled. She has said that she feels like the past 6 years have been waisted and spends her weekends putting the kids to bed and then hanging out in clubs until 3 am every weekend. She reve rting back to the life she lived at 24 and completely disregarding our marraige.. She would take her ring off whenver she got mad and would use punishment as a tool to get me to do whatever she wanted. She recently said that she feels like I'm winning in this because I do not have to care for the kids full time and am on my own. However, I have never cheated on her and want my family restored. Currently, she talks to different men on dating websites everyday and goes out on dates .. but I have focused on working out, learning a new language and my kids... I went through the stage of sending flowers and being overly caring but to be honest I always been that way. Now I stopped everything because my actions were only returned with no affection or every vitrial... and friends who have gone through similar situation have said to leave her alone. My emotions have been a roller coaster.. sometimes extremely high and sometimes extremely low wanting to bury myself in wine. Am I a fool for thinking we could get back together or should I just move on? and another note... my wife is a beautiful woman and has never been faithful in previous relationships until she met me (in a non sexual way) meaning talking to multiple people at once. Until the 50 year old man.. she has been faithful to me but with 2 new kids not like we have had much time to each other or anything else. Has anyone experienced something like this ... While she actively dating? should I date too? I would have no trouble getting someone but know that if I go that route I might never come back. Please advise.

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