Is 2 years long enough to be patient??

My husband and I have had different sex drives for a little over 2 years now. Mine is high, his is low. We have seen 2 different physicians who confirm his medications are not causing his LD. His testosterone level was low normal, so that isn't it either. He is 46, I'm 39. We've been married for 18 months. Due to our jobs, we have two separate homes, about 2 hours apart, so we spend about 3-4 days a week together on average. If I could, I'd have sex every day we are together. He, on the other hand, is content with once every week or two. Furthermore, he doesn't like to kiss, other than closed mouth pecks, and doesn't want to give oral at all. I have talked to him about my need for intimacy, including kissing, occasional oral, and more frequent sex numerous times, yet nothing changes. I've asked him to help me get off in ways other than sex, even if he isn't in the mood...that hasn't happened either. I've simply become frustrated beyond belief and resentful at his apparent lack of initiative to help me meet my sexual/intimacy needs. When I discussed it with him - again - this week, his only answer is that *I* need to initiate sex more and that I can sometimes sit on his face after I get out of the shower. Otherwise, he doens't offer up one suggestion that he can or will do to help the situation. He is a good man and husband in other ways - he loves my children and would do anything else I asked. My kids adore him as well, as does my family. So I feel somewhat guilty for complaining about this part of our marriage - but it's important to me! How much longer do I wait? Is an ultimatum the answer? I want him to want me -- I don't really want him to have sex with me out of feeling forced to. I'm at a total loss of what to do next.

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