Hi. I have been separated from my husband of 21 years for 4 days. We were together 6 years prior to marriage and have three great kids. Our relationship has always been one of mutual respect, love and understanding. However, I was diagnosed with cancer (advanced stage) 2.5 years ago. Everything spiral down after that.
I went through several surgeries and chemotherapy. It took a full year to recover. During the cancer, I did my best to stay strong and healthy and continued to take care of my kids. My husband did the best he could, but it was wearing on him. Within a year of finishing my treatment, my father passed away and six months after that, one of my closest friends' died from cancer. Needless to say, my normal happy personality hit a low and I experienced my first bout with depression. My husband told me several months ago that he had been unhappy with me the last year because I wasn't the same person. And I needed help. I listened to him and started seeing a counselor and did eventually take medication to help. Within two months of that, I felt so much better and looked at things positively. However, for my husband it was " too little too late." He claims to understand WHY I was different, considering the adversity I had faced. But, he decided to leave me a few days ago. He says he still loves me but he needs space and peace. And right now, he is stressed. I feel like a complete failure and I am very upset that he would leave me after I had been through the worst patch of my life. I am hoping we will be able to work things out, but right now, I feel vulnerable and alone.
The kids (teenagers) are with me. We are trying a trial separation so for now, no attorneys are involved. He's been very generous as far as finances go and the kids and I are staying in our home. Right now, I am working on getting back into the workforce which will take some time (I left my profession many years ago to raise the kids). I'm sure most people don't get married thinking they may end up separated. we both decided divorce is off the table.
He said he needed to leave so I could improve myself and he felt I couldn't do that with him around. If it were my choice, he would;t have moved out and we would have worked together to fix things. He refuses to see a counselor either for himself or together. I want so much to believe we have a chance since our foundation is good, but I don't want to be naive. I found this site and decided to share my story because my husband does NOT want anyone to know he has left! I told some close family and my two best friends. He has shared this news with no friends or family. I don't know what to think or make of his behavior or his decision making right now. I just needed to vent and read others stories so I don't feel I'm alone. Thank You for Reading! :smile2:
I went through several surgeries and chemotherapy. It took a full year to recover. During the cancer, I did my best to stay strong and healthy and continued to take care of my kids. My husband did the best he could, but it was wearing on him. Within a year of finishing my treatment, my father passed away and six months after that, one of my closest friends' died from cancer. Needless to say, my normal happy personality hit a low and I experienced my first bout with depression. My husband told me several months ago that he had been unhappy with me the last year because I wasn't the same person. And I needed help. I listened to him and started seeing a counselor and did eventually take medication to help. Within two months of that, I felt so much better and looked at things positively. However, for my husband it was " too little too late." He claims to understand WHY I was different, considering the adversity I had faced. But, he decided to leave me a few days ago. He says he still loves me but he needs space and peace. And right now, he is stressed. I feel like a complete failure and I am very upset that he would leave me after I had been through the worst patch of my life. I am hoping we will be able to work things out, but right now, I feel vulnerable and alone.
The kids (teenagers) are with me. We are trying a trial separation so for now, no attorneys are involved. He's been very generous as far as finances go and the kids and I are staying in our home. Right now, I am working on getting back into the workforce which will take some time (I left my profession many years ago to raise the kids). I'm sure most people don't get married thinking they may end up separated. we both decided divorce is off the table.
He said he needed to leave so I could improve myself and he felt I couldn't do that with him around. If it were my choice, he would;t have moved out and we would have worked together to fix things. He refuses to see a counselor either for himself or together. I want so much to believe we have a chance since our foundation is good, but I don't want to be naive. I found this site and decided to share my story because my husband does NOT want anyone to know he has left! I told some close family and my two best friends. He has shared this news with no friends or family. I don't know what to think or make of his behavior or his decision making right now. I just needed to vent and read others stories so I don't feel I'm alone. Thank You for Reading! :smile2:
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