I am having a hard time letting go of something quite silly and very stupid, that happened to me a few days ago. The fact that I can find myself writing about this here, is just proof of my lack of capability to move on. What is worse! The feeling it gives me makes me want to quit my marriage or don't speak to my husband ever again. I know I won't do it -I love him- but I can't help feel bad and mad, at the same time. It might be my own low self-esteem, it might be resentment...in any case: How do I let go the stupid-silly stuff?
Background story: Husband and I just moved to a new city, where a his previous college friend (I'll call him P) is currently living with his girlfriend. Husband and this friend used to belong to the same group of friends, but never really hang out with each other outside of the social meetings. I have known P for almost 6 years, he was in our wedding and we actually paid for his hotel room so he and his girlfriend could attend (from out f town).
Last Sunday, P send me a message by Facebook asking me to please tell my husband that he was inviting him to hang out in his house (P's house) and play games with him and P's female co-worker (S) whom husband has never met, nor know about (P never told us about S). It is really weird, because P was complaining last time we saw him (a week ago) that he doesn't know anyone besides Husband who likes to play games.
Anyway, I asked P if this was an invitation for only my husband or if I could also attend. He said that it was only for husband, and I shouldn't worry because S is lesbian. I felt offended for him suggesting I was jealous or didn't trust my husband. Husband said he was probably joking. Husband also said "yes" to P's invitation...didn't even considered asking me if I was okay with this.
The problem is I can't get over the feeling of rejection from P, and the lack of consideration from husband. I have no clue as to who S is, and as much as I trust my husband, I find it odd that out of nowhere P decided to invite S and my husband to do something for in his girlfriend and I could also participate. I do not fear of husband cheating -I really trust him- but I can't get over the fact that I wasn't even invited and I was asked to invite. I would have also like that my husband had thought that this could make me feel uncomfortable and declined or asked for me to accompany him despite what P said. I feel as if I am worth nothing...as this is not the first time someone I considered my friend rejects me on a social event.
Background story: Husband and I just moved to a new city, where a his previous college friend (I'll call him P) is currently living with his girlfriend. Husband and this friend used to belong to the same group of friends, but never really hang out with each other outside of the social meetings. I have known P for almost 6 years, he was in our wedding and we actually paid for his hotel room so he and his girlfriend could attend (from out f town).
Last Sunday, P send me a message by Facebook asking me to please tell my husband that he was inviting him to hang out in his house (P's house) and play games with him and P's female co-worker (S) whom husband has never met, nor know about (P never told us about S). It is really weird, because P was complaining last time we saw him (a week ago) that he doesn't know anyone besides Husband who likes to play games.
Anyway, I asked P if this was an invitation for only my husband or if I could also attend. He said that it was only for husband, and I shouldn't worry because S is lesbian. I felt offended for him suggesting I was jealous or didn't trust my husband. Husband said he was probably joking. Husband also said "yes" to P's invitation...didn't even considered asking me if I was okay with this.
The problem is I can't get over the feeling of rejection from P, and the lack of consideration from husband. I have no clue as to who S is, and as much as I trust my husband, I find it odd that out of nowhere P decided to invite S and my husband to do something for in his girlfriend and I could also participate. I do not fear of husband cheating -I really trust him- but I can't get over the fact that I wasn't even invited and I was asked to invite. I would have also like that my husband had thought that this could make me feel uncomfortable and declined or asked for me to accompany him despite what P said. I feel as if I am worth nothing...as this is not the first time someone I considered my friend rejects me on a social event.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment