My BF & I have been together for 9 years (we are both 28) & we live together (6 yrs). We have been through a lot (family issues, moving 4 hours from our hometown to further pursue our careers, him going to back to college while I supported both of us, illnesses, etc) and are extremely close. We share finances & rent an apartment together. We don't split things 50/50 or anything. We share bank account & our each others co-signers on loans, credit cards, etc. He is a writer & is focusing on that right now - which means we mainly live on my income. Our relationship is GREAT. We don't fight a lot, are very respectful of each other, he takes me on sweet dates, takes care of the home since I work a lot, and keeps up his end of the relationship. I love him with my whole heart & can't see myself with anyone else but I have made it VERY clear from the day we started dating that marriage & children were something that I wanted, eventually. I told him this early on, and explained that if this wasn't something that he wanted that he needed to let me know. He agreed that marriage & children were very important to him.
9 years into our relationship & now into our late 20's, I want to have that "eventually" to be NOW, so that in our 30's we can start having kids. I have told him this. We started "ring shopping" 6 (SIX!!) years ago. We always seem to go ring shopping on/near our anniversary or around other holidays (his idea, not mine - which this year, if he brings that up, I am refusing to go look at something that I have looked at a million times & have already picked out). He talks about what he wants for a wedding, etc. BUT whenever I bring up getting engaged or going to the courthouse to get married, he gets upset. Telling me that I need to stop worrying about it. Now, lets be honest - I will be paying for a majority of my ring - which is only $500 & I am OK with this. I would also be taking care of a majority of our wedding (just going to the courthouse is fine with me). Again, I am OKAY WITH THIS. I don't really think that he has to "bring home the bacon" or be the main supporter of our household. Realistically, his career as writer, could take another 10-15 years to "take off" - where he could be making a steady income. I have tried asking for a timeline, and he refuses to give me one. He tells me that he can't tell me when the day will come that it will be time to get married. I am just confused, as I am pretty much his wife (and he doesn't correct people when they call me his wife). He tells me that I need to get over being obsessed with weddings and marriage.
I am just wondering why he does this to me? He knows that I want a marriage (which we practically have - so why not go to the court house & make this legal?) Why take me to look at rings for 6 flipping years? His he just stringing me along? We are planning on making a huge cross country move in the fall & my father has expressed his concern about this. Thoughts? Am I being too pushy? Even after 9 yrs?
9 years into our relationship & now into our late 20's, I want to have that "eventually" to be NOW, so that in our 30's we can start having kids. I have told him this. We started "ring shopping" 6 (SIX!!) years ago. We always seem to go ring shopping on/near our anniversary or around other holidays (his idea, not mine - which this year, if he brings that up, I am refusing to go look at something that I have looked at a million times & have already picked out). He talks about what he wants for a wedding, etc. BUT whenever I bring up getting engaged or going to the courthouse to get married, he gets upset. Telling me that I need to stop worrying about it. Now, lets be honest - I will be paying for a majority of my ring - which is only $500 & I am OK with this. I would also be taking care of a majority of our wedding (just going to the courthouse is fine with me). Again, I am OKAY WITH THIS. I don't really think that he has to "bring home the bacon" or be the main supporter of our household. Realistically, his career as writer, could take another 10-15 years to "take off" - where he could be making a steady income. I have tried asking for a timeline, and he refuses to give me one. He tells me that he can't tell me when the day will come that it will be time to get married. I am just confused, as I am pretty much his wife (and he doesn't correct people when they call me his wife). He tells me that I need to get over being obsessed with weddings and marriage.
I am just wondering why he does this to me? He knows that I want a marriage (which we practically have - so why not go to the court house & make this legal?) Why take me to look at rings for 6 flipping years? His he just stringing me along? We are planning on making a huge cross country move in the fall & my father has expressed his concern about this. Thoughts? Am I being too pushy? Even after 9 yrs?
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