My best friend, my wife, has just opened up to me and admitted that she has been cheating on me. I'm so mixed with emotion and have no idea what to do. We don't have any children and have been married for 2 years. We've been together in total of 5 and a half years.
A few months after we got married we had began to fight a lot. It really took a toll on our relationship. We slowly started putting the pieces together and started getting a long. Over time I did notice that she was acting weird. She was always talking about a coworker of hers all of the time. She's 25 and he's 50. I felt like she had this emotional thing with him and she was always going to bars to talk about work with him. I was able to track her and see that she was actually at the bar. It began to bother me because all they did was text.
Being a tech, I hacked into her phone and recovered all deleted messages and saw that they were flirting a lot. Nothing sexual, but flirting. I didn't tell her that I knew and I brought up to her that I felt that she was being inappropriate in the relationship she had with this coworker. Texting too much, hiding her phone all of the time, being secretive. I finally told her that I got into her phone and know everything. She broke down and cried and was like I feel like our connection hasn't been good lately. I miss the dating stages where there was mystery about you and I didn't always know where you were. That talking to him and getting to know him filled that void. I asked if they ever had sex and she said no that it was an emotional thing.
This still angered me. but I was glad she didn't get physical. She said that she would stop talking to him but that it would be hard to cut complete contact because he is her direct coworker. We needed money so there was nothing I could do about it.
A few days ago she came home crying and I was like whats wrong. She's like I can't take keeping this secret anymore. I was unfaithful to you. I was like what do you men? She said she cheated on me with that coworker and that they had sex numerous times.
I went crazy on her cussing her out. Yelling and I stormed out of the house and drove off because I didn't know if I was going to do something stupid where I would end up in jail.
I have been staying with a friend since then. I told her to stay at the house and take care of the dog so I could have some space. I contacted her today and said I have a list of things that I need to ask her before I decide what to do next. She told me at this point she would answer anything that I want. That she would be 100% honest with any question that I have. She also told me that she went to her mother and told her what she had done.
I can tell how remorseful she is. How much she truly regrets it and she acknowledges how badly she has hurt and betrayed me.
I do have a few questions. I never in a million years expected her to do this. We were best friends and had the best relationship through most of our time knowing each other.
I know I need time and am not sure how much time is too much or too little. She said she would talk to someone with me to help figure things out.
Is divorce the only solution to this? I know how good of a person she use to be and know that she regrets this. If I find it in my heart to eventually forgive, then is it a good idea to try and make the marriage work? Would it be a waste of time trying to fix it if thats the route i choose? I haven't been to work the past few days and my mind is driving me crazy. I need any advice possible.
Thanks you!
A few months after we got married we had began to fight a lot. It really took a toll on our relationship. We slowly started putting the pieces together and started getting a long. Over time I did notice that she was acting weird. She was always talking about a coworker of hers all of the time. She's 25 and he's 50. I felt like she had this emotional thing with him and she was always going to bars to talk about work with him. I was able to track her and see that she was actually at the bar. It began to bother me because all they did was text.
Being a tech, I hacked into her phone and recovered all deleted messages and saw that they were flirting a lot. Nothing sexual, but flirting. I didn't tell her that I knew and I brought up to her that I felt that she was being inappropriate in the relationship she had with this coworker. Texting too much, hiding her phone all of the time, being secretive. I finally told her that I got into her phone and know everything. She broke down and cried and was like I feel like our connection hasn't been good lately. I miss the dating stages where there was mystery about you and I didn't always know where you were. That talking to him and getting to know him filled that void. I asked if they ever had sex and she said no that it was an emotional thing.
This still angered me. but I was glad she didn't get physical. She said that she would stop talking to him but that it would be hard to cut complete contact because he is her direct coworker. We needed money so there was nothing I could do about it.
A few days ago she came home crying and I was like whats wrong. She's like I can't take keeping this secret anymore. I was unfaithful to you. I was like what do you men? She said she cheated on me with that coworker and that they had sex numerous times.
I went crazy on her cussing her out. Yelling and I stormed out of the house and drove off because I didn't know if I was going to do something stupid where I would end up in jail.
I have been staying with a friend since then. I told her to stay at the house and take care of the dog so I could have some space. I contacted her today and said I have a list of things that I need to ask her before I decide what to do next. She told me at this point she would answer anything that I want. That she would be 100% honest with any question that I have. She also told me that she went to her mother and told her what she had done.
I can tell how remorseful she is. How much she truly regrets it and she acknowledges how badly she has hurt and betrayed me.
I do have a few questions. I never in a million years expected her to do this. We were best friends and had the best relationship through most of our time knowing each other.
I know I need time and am not sure how much time is too much or too little. She said she would talk to someone with me to help figure things out.
Is divorce the only solution to this? I know how good of a person she use to be and know that she regrets this. If I find it in my heart to eventually forgive, then is it a good idea to try and make the marriage work? Would it be a waste of time trying to fix it if thats the route i choose? I haven't been to work the past few days and my mind is driving me crazy. I need any advice possible.
Thanks you!
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