I feel like we are trapped in a cycle of craziness. I have my baggage I brought to the relationship and DH knew about it all before he married me, been together 13 years married 12, two kids 9 & 11. In the past year I have had to have 2 back surgeries, I am drained most days when I get home.
I don't really want to go out on the weekend and listen to his friend's wife complain about her marriage or sit and try and talk to her while she has her face in her phone, so he can drink and be merry, all the while all our kids are fighting. He gets mad at me when I don't want to go and would rather stay home.
Our last sexual encounter was two weeks ago, initiated by me (rare) and mainly just for him, because since my last surgery it is very hard for me to get off, we are young too I might ad, mid 30s. I even when I had the second surgery, offered him a free pass which he seemed to take offense to, because I was out of the game for about 3 months post op. However, each encounter since has sucked. Last encounter he was just not into it. I could tell, emotional physical nothing.. gave up. He blamed it on a bruise and some other lame excuse but I know what it was, he was feeling disconnected just like I have.
Things really changed my last surgery it was unexpected and threw us into a financial mess because he had been a stay home Dad and now I was only getting disability. Now we are both back to working and digging slowly out of the hole. Either way, he just doesn't seem happy. He puts on a happy face, tells me I am his best friend, but spends hours on the phone with others, doesn't text me, etc... it's just not there. I don't know weather to just offer him a divorce or request counseling (we've been there before), or if this is just a slump, but it's a long one. :( Any advice from the guys is appreciated.
I don't really want to go out on the weekend and listen to his friend's wife complain about her marriage or sit and try and talk to her while she has her face in her phone, so he can drink and be merry, all the while all our kids are fighting. He gets mad at me when I don't want to go and would rather stay home.
Our last sexual encounter was two weeks ago, initiated by me (rare) and mainly just for him, because since my last surgery it is very hard for me to get off, we are young too I might ad, mid 30s. I even when I had the second surgery, offered him a free pass which he seemed to take offense to, because I was out of the game for about 3 months post op. However, each encounter since has sucked. Last encounter he was just not into it. I could tell, emotional physical nothing.. gave up. He blamed it on a bruise and some other lame excuse but I know what it was, he was feeling disconnected just like I have.
Things really changed my last surgery it was unexpected and threw us into a financial mess because he had been a stay home Dad and now I was only getting disability. Now we are both back to working and digging slowly out of the hole. Either way, he just doesn't seem happy. He puts on a happy face, tells me I am his best friend, but spends hours on the phone with others, doesn't text me, etc... it's just not there. I don't know weather to just offer him a divorce or request counseling (we've been there before), or if this is just a slump, but it's a long one. :( Any advice from the guys is appreciated.
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