A sexless marriage is defined as intimacy with your spouse 10 times a year or less, but you can still have regular sex without much emotion, passion etc, and can be just as bad as going without at all.
As a Christian, I struggled with this for the past few years. The Bible is firm on regular marital sex, with only short breaks allowed. Our average was 15-20 times a year, but mostly obligatory, with me doing all of the initiating. She required only the bare minimum, missionary, no oral etc. She enjoyed it, but was just as well without it too. It started to help my emotional pain more to just go without, we could go 3 months without blinking, before I gave in because of my Christian beliefs.
We've made a commitment now to once a month, hoping that quality will beat out quantity. We tried the 30 day in a row sex challenge last year and made it 4 days, before it became "lets get this over with so I can go to sleep", and that killed it for me.
I've always thought sexless was always a misnomer because physically you can do it daily for it to count, but when it is devout of emotion or passion, does it really count?? I believe as a Christian it is sinful to go without, so we won't any longer, but we'll see if it becomes just another duty to check off the list. I don't think that is what God has in mind.
I also believe, and maybe I'm wrong, but if your spouse has totally given up on sex with you, then that would be considered adultery as well. It can mean sex outside the marriage or no sex within the marriage, Satan loves both of them the same.
As a Christian, I struggled with this for the past few years. The Bible is firm on regular marital sex, with only short breaks allowed. Our average was 15-20 times a year, but mostly obligatory, with me doing all of the initiating. She required only the bare minimum, missionary, no oral etc. She enjoyed it, but was just as well without it too. It started to help my emotional pain more to just go without, we could go 3 months without blinking, before I gave in because of my Christian beliefs.
We've made a commitment now to once a month, hoping that quality will beat out quantity. We tried the 30 day in a row sex challenge last year and made it 4 days, before it became "lets get this over with so I can go to sleep", and that killed it for me.
I've always thought sexless was always a misnomer because physically you can do it daily for it to count, but when it is devout of emotion or passion, does it really count?? I believe as a Christian it is sinful to go without, so we won't any longer, but we'll see if it becomes just another duty to check off the list. I don't think that is what God has in mind.
I also believe, and maybe I'm wrong, but if your spouse has totally given up on sex with you, then that would be considered adultery as well. It can mean sex outside the marriage or no sex within the marriage, Satan loves both of them the same.
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