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If i was to Quit College because of being seen as the Loner

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merry christmas everybody, hope your all ****ing enjoying it unlike me.. as the title says...

I have depression and my antidepressants has messed up my mind. I'm 19, studying an access course (as a last chance to uni) but anxiety almost got me kicked out of college (it would have been an education history to get kicked out 3 times). I have been re-thinking over this miserable christmas... is it worth destroying my uni dreams just because people see me as a loner (honestly i dont know what they see me as, i usually call myself a loner because my dad calls me that everyday)? Should i just give up and do a teaching Assistant apprenticeship just for the money or do i dare myself next year to do BTEC Music and be in a class with 16 year olds losers?

i have made countless threads on this for months now and so far responses has been too little to impact on. I also want to leave because i feel that a girl who im sooo much in love with (but have 0 chance to get close to her) is irriatting me. I cant stand the ****ing bastards being close to her and i can't stand my so-called friend (lets just say the only person i talk to in the class) slowly getting close to her as well. If i was popular i would have litterally had the *******s to do something about her but i dont :(

Just tell me what i should do.. anything and i will do it and announce it to my parents of my future plan

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