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His pleasure annoys me

I discovered a psychological problem in my sex life that I'd like to solve. I might need to go to a therapist, but I want to start from somewhere.

I am a woman, and I enjoy having sex. Sometimes I think about it more, sometimes less, I masturbate regularly. I get attracted to guys easily, and when I do, I want to sleep with them asap.

However, I realized that the sexual pleasure of my SO makes me - angry! It annoys me that he gets so excited and feels so special. I don't like the fact that he gets so close to me emotionally. I feel like just having an orgasm and being very non-chalant about making love - just to show him that I don't think sex with him is anything special.

Help me! What is behind of these weird feelings? I do love him, and I certainly enjoy sex (sometimes when I'm angry with him for no reason like that, I do it solo. I can't understand why I don't want to share the pleasure with him - he can easily please me in bed). I would like to share my life with him, but these odd feelings of mine are getting in the way.

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