Boyfriend, age 45, is driving me batty. So much so that I'm thinking about calling it quits. We met online about 6 months ago. Seemed like a very nice guy, even tempered, intelligent, sense of humor. His family is beyond dysfunctional and he has been essentially emotionally abused by these folks. They are his only surviving relatives and he feels "they are all he has". He's had some hard knocks in life (who hasn't) so I thought I would give him a chance and see where the relationship would go.
We both determined early on that the goal for both of us is marriage. As we get to know each other, I am finding more things I do not like - his negative comments about other people (usually strangers), his refusal to take responsbility for his actions, balming others for his misfortune. Example, he missed a flight for a very important job because he went to visit his family and only had 2.5 hours to get to the airport. I told him that his actions caused him to miss that flight and he refused to even think it was his fault. The employer graciously allowed him to take the next flight, which he almost missed to take a car that he does not drive, to the shop.
I have to add that I have not been in a serious relationship for several years. I am set in my ways, comfortable, secure, take very good care of myself and have not tolerance for drama. His family is drunk every weekend, has fist fights and teenage runaways. I have 2 children in college and the last is going next year. The most dramatic thing that happened at my house is that we forgot to put out the recycling bin last week. I do not spend any time with his family because I just don't live that way. I don't feel the need to run the streets every day or every weekend for that matter. I am a homebody and he has always been in the middle of some dramatic scene.
In addition, my need for attention, affection and support are not being met. I have been trying to be patient and suppoortive since his job situation has been sporadic. He now has a chance to make some positive changes and I am hoping this will give him some encouragement, but I am tired and no sure I even want to continue to see how this plays out. Am I qutting too early or should I give him a chance?
We both determined early on that the goal for both of us is marriage. As we get to know each other, I am finding more things I do not like - his negative comments about other people (usually strangers), his refusal to take responsbility for his actions, balming others for his misfortune. Example, he missed a flight for a very important job because he went to visit his family and only had 2.5 hours to get to the airport. I told him that his actions caused him to miss that flight and he refused to even think it was his fault. The employer graciously allowed him to take the next flight, which he almost missed to take a car that he does not drive, to the shop.
I have to add that I have not been in a serious relationship for several years. I am set in my ways, comfortable, secure, take very good care of myself and have not tolerance for drama. His family is drunk every weekend, has fist fights and teenage runaways. I have 2 children in college and the last is going next year. The most dramatic thing that happened at my house is that we forgot to put out the recycling bin last week. I do not spend any time with his family because I just don't live that way. I don't feel the need to run the streets every day or every weekend for that matter. I am a homebody and he has always been in the middle of some dramatic scene.
In addition, my need for attention, affection and support are not being met. I have been trying to be patient and suppoortive since his job situation has been sporadic. He now has a chance to make some positive changes and I am hoping this will give him some encouragement, but I am tired and no sure I even want to continue to see how this plays out. Am I qutting too early or should I give him a chance?
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