Hey y'all,
I was wondering what y'all think of my predicament regarding long-term commitments/finances within marriage. I'm 30 with a great work-from-home salary and DH is 28 with another great salary. We know babies are coming soon because I don't want to conceive after 35.
I want to settle down and buy a condo, but I have become too emotionally dependent on him (clingy, passive aggressive, checking up on him) since I started working from home full time. He says it's made him want to put off buying a house until we resolve our marital issues. It was very painful to hear that, but I think we're on the same page now about me needing to rebuild my old friendships and hobbies so I'm not always focused on him. He also says he wants us to travel and "have adventures" together before babies come, which I think is because he finally feels financially confident in his career. But this year we've spent 10% of our gross incomes on travel--it's too much for my liking, and honestly I don't enjoy sleeping in a bed other than my own.
Now I'm afraid it's just an excuse, though, and I'll end up 35 and divorced after he has stalled and stalled. I just wish there was a way to know if he was genuine in his desire to eventually undertake all those things with me. I'm afraid to bring up my desire for those things in the future, for fear that I'll get "rejected" again, and I'm afraid that now that he feels so financially secure he's starting to look at "other options". He immigrated so we could marry and live in Austin together 5 yrs ago, and I know there is genuine, deep, real love and passion between us, but a tiny part of me has wondered if I was being used for the green card, and I think that's contributed to my insecurities.
I was wondering what y'all think of my predicament regarding long-term commitments/finances within marriage. I'm 30 with a great work-from-home salary and DH is 28 with another great salary. We know babies are coming soon because I don't want to conceive after 35.
I want to settle down and buy a condo, but I have become too emotionally dependent on him (clingy, passive aggressive, checking up on him) since I started working from home full time. He says it's made him want to put off buying a house until we resolve our marital issues. It was very painful to hear that, but I think we're on the same page now about me needing to rebuild my old friendships and hobbies so I'm not always focused on him. He also says he wants us to travel and "have adventures" together before babies come, which I think is because he finally feels financially confident in his career. But this year we've spent 10% of our gross incomes on travel--it's too much for my liking, and honestly I don't enjoy sleeping in a bed other than my own.
Now I'm afraid it's just an excuse, though, and I'll end up 35 and divorced after he has stalled and stalled. I just wish there was a way to know if he was genuine in his desire to eventually undertake all those things with me. I'm afraid to bring up my desire for those things in the future, for fear that I'll get "rejected" again, and I'm afraid that now that he feels so financially secure he's starting to look at "other options". He immigrated so we could marry and live in Austin together 5 yrs ago, and I know there is genuine, deep, real love and passion between us, but a tiny part of me has wondered if I was being used for the green card, and I think that's contributed to my insecurities.
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