1st post, I apologize if this topic has been covered before ...
I have to admit im somewhat embarrassed by posting, but Im hoping to get some advice, on my situation.
Again I apologize if this has been covered before I just feel I need to put it out there
as you can see I joined in 2012, but this is my first post
I'm sure its not unlike anyone elses , I just am really struggling with it
Been with my wife since HS, I was her 1st boyfriend, were each others 1st sexual experience,
Like the "American dream" We dated, married, had kids, the whole white picket fence thing... however after we were married, slowly over time she stopped doing certain things sexually, with no explanation...
Sorry if this is too graphic, but she completely stopped anal, which im OK with , kids screw the plumbing up downstairs, and now its painful... I can deal with it , but she all the sudden stopped Oral as well .... she used to finish it... Without complaint.
She slowly over the years, has also become more and more distant , now I have to beg to get her to even look at me .
As a matter of fact the only time she showed any interest in me is when an ex was flirting with me 2 years ago
We've been arguing about it for years...she says she doesn't mind doing it , but just never thinks to .... which I think hurts more than hearing her say she hates it .
Now we do have sex...its not a rarity, but its not even a fraction of what it used to be
Her argument is that shes always tired from work and dealing with the kids when she gets home..which I understand,
But I do the same thing , not to mention working out religiously, coaching sports , teaching , I also take the kids to all the after school activities, they are into, appointments, you name it .
I love her immeasurably, Im not one of those guys who isn't attracted to his wife anymore , yes shes gained a lot of weight, but it doesnt bother me at all, shes my 1! still the girl I asked to dance 25 years ago
Now before its suggested, ive tried all the romance, getaways, expensive gifts, ( 3years ago I bought her a $3,000 diamond ring, for xmas....I got a hug for it ) I do everything that needs to be done, "I love yous" every day ... she doesn't drive so I have to take her and the kids everywhere . I've talked to counselors, she's been tested for hormones , thyroid etc.. Nothing.
We've talked (fought ) about it till we are blue in the face
She basically comes home, and crashes in front of the TV... If were laying there in bed, sometimes shell make dinner, if she doesnt I will, or well order something ...shell watch TV, and If I ask her anything its like I'm pestering her .
Initiating sex, forget it if I don't ask, there's no chance...and Ive experimented with how long before it would be brought up I lasted about 6 weeks , before I had to say something
Buddies tell me to go "scratch an itch, but I'm not the cheating kind (though to be completely I've thought about it) .. which bothers me somewhat that id even think that's what might have had to be done.
Any advice???? I don't know what else to do I don't want a divorce, I need to see her and my kids every day, I don't want to lose her, but there is NO return emotionally , no matter what I do
I have to admit im somewhat embarrassed by posting, but Im hoping to get some advice, on my situation.
Again I apologize if this has been covered before I just feel I need to put it out there
as you can see I joined in 2012, but this is my first post
I'm sure its not unlike anyone elses , I just am really struggling with it
Been with my wife since HS, I was her 1st boyfriend, were each others 1st sexual experience,
Like the "American dream" We dated, married, had kids, the whole white picket fence thing... however after we were married, slowly over time she stopped doing certain things sexually, with no explanation...
Sorry if this is too graphic, but she completely stopped anal, which im OK with , kids screw the plumbing up downstairs, and now its painful... I can deal with it , but she all the sudden stopped Oral as well .... she used to finish it... Without complaint.
She slowly over the years, has also become more and more distant , now I have to beg to get her to even look at me .
As a matter of fact the only time she showed any interest in me is when an ex was flirting with me 2 years ago
We've been arguing about it for years...she says she doesn't mind doing it , but just never thinks to .... which I think hurts more than hearing her say she hates it .
Now we do have sex...its not a rarity, but its not even a fraction of what it used to be
Her argument is that shes always tired from work and dealing with the kids when she gets home..which I understand,
But I do the same thing , not to mention working out religiously, coaching sports , teaching , I also take the kids to all the after school activities, they are into, appointments, you name it .
I love her immeasurably, Im not one of those guys who isn't attracted to his wife anymore , yes shes gained a lot of weight, but it doesnt bother me at all, shes my 1! still the girl I asked to dance 25 years ago
Now before its suggested, ive tried all the romance, getaways, expensive gifts, ( 3years ago I bought her a $3,000 diamond ring, for xmas....I got a hug for it ) I do everything that needs to be done, "I love yous" every day ... she doesn't drive so I have to take her and the kids everywhere . I've talked to counselors, she's been tested for hormones , thyroid etc.. Nothing.
We've talked (fought ) about it till we are blue in the face
She basically comes home, and crashes in front of the TV... If were laying there in bed, sometimes shell make dinner, if she doesnt I will, or well order something ...shell watch TV, and If I ask her anything its like I'm pestering her .
Initiating sex, forget it if I don't ask, there's no chance...and Ive experimented with how long before it would be brought up I lasted about 6 weeks , before I had to say something
Buddies tell me to go "scratch an itch, but I'm not the cheating kind (though to be completely I've thought about it) .. which bothers me somewhat that id even think that's what might have had to be done.
Any advice???? I don't know what else to do I don't want a divorce, I need to see her and my kids every day, I don't want to lose her, but there is NO return emotionally , no matter what I do
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment