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Needing advice concerning Homosexuallity.

If you are homophobic please don't read this post. I am a real person with a real problem. Not a troll.

First, I've tried being with men for 10 years. I REALLY tried. I'm 30. I never got the courage to kiss a guy until I was 28. And that was just a male friend who encouraged me to at least try and not be afriad. It was werid but, I soon realized I wasn't interested in him either. (he was the hottest guy I've ever been with) At the same time I couldn't bring myself to have sex with him. Anyway I cut things off with him. A few months later I fell in love with a woman. She broke my heart because, she was striaght. Then I fell for another women. She was straight as well. Then I fell in love with a lesbian. We went our separate ways. I fell in love with three women in this year alone. I've never fallen for a guy like this. I can't help but, fall in love with women. I feel God understand me. I beleive He helps me. I beleive He is okay with me. I love God. I'm truely hurting. Is there anyone who can give me advice out there? My mom hates me because, I lesbian. (I have to live with he r because, its cheaper that way since I'm in college.
Again, is there anyone who understands me? I really need encouragement.

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