my mother feeling left out of new grandchild life

My brother and sister in law recently had a baby. The families were very excited for them. They have been married for 8 years and have been trying to get pregnant for 4 years. Their lives are very stable and it is now complete with this new baby girl (my niece). The problem is that now that there is a new baby there are some issues that have come to light. My brother and sister in law are in an interracial/intercultural marriage. When they were getting married my sister in laws immediate family did not come to the wedding because they did not approve. We are black/of Haitian decent and my sister in law is Italian. My brother's family was all there to support them. I respect my sister in law for standing by my brother and their marriage. For the early part of their marriage they had little contact with her immediate family. Throughout their marriage we (my mom, younger sister, and I) would visit them on holidays and family events. The other issue is my bro ther does not have a relationship with my father. They have not spoken for years. (We've all accepted the fact they will not have a relationship due to past traumas). He has little contact with our extended family members aunts, uncles, cousins(by choice). They (my brother and sister in law) have only kept contact with the three of us. Over the past couple years they have reconnected with my sister in laws family. They live close to her parents and her parents seem involved with them. This somewhat upsets my mother as they pretty much rejected my brother/her son due to his race. In fact the first time my mother even met my sister in laws parents was at the baby shower her sister and mother organized. My mother put aside all her upset feelings to celebrate the upcoming arrival of her first grandchild. My niece was born December of 2013. We were all excited to meet her and visit her in the hospital. However I began to notice how my brother and sister in law began to react tow ards my mother. Whenever she would make a suggestion they would correct her or tell her that things have changed. They would say that's not what we are doing. I understand sometimes adult children can get annoyed by overbearing parents but watching this began to irritate me. Next I watched during the early weeks of my niece's life my mother called often to check on her to see how she was doing. My brother would respond and over time less and less. I told my mom to just give them time to adjust to new life as parents. Eventually she called them less. My brother was nice enough to invite us over to the house to visit the baby. Things were going well my sister in law was out. When she returned she seemed surprised to see us. We talked and exchanged gifts as we always do. As we were leaving my mother made a joke and said jokingly "don't beat my baby". My brother promptly replied "She won't be raised the way I was raised". My mother got upset and said "What is wrong with the way I raised you? I am very offended". Meanwhile my sister in law clutched her daughter for dear life. We all left after that. It was a very uncomfortable exchange. After a few days my mother pretended like nothing happened because she was dying to know how her grandchild was doing. My brother made nice as well. (There was no apology). In the end I can't help but feel as though they are completely cutting out our side of the family. Aside from being offended my mother is very upset that her grandchild is now 4 months old and my brother seems uninterested in letting my grandmother and our aunts be involved in anyway. They have invited us (my mother, younger sister, my husband, and I) to the babies christening in June. My mother does not want to attend the event. I am torn myself. What do you make of this? What should I do if she does not want to attend? I'm sure my sister in laws family will be there in huge numbers.


In the mean time I've distracted my mother by telling her to make things for her granddaughter to leave for in the future this way she can express herself and her love for her grandchild in some way.

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