That the slighest crack in the window of any hopes for R is crashing down quickly.
I told my story at the end of another thread (eyesopen) it was a true inspiration and I felt that it needed to be kept alive for others to view.
But I have hardly anyone to talk with and feel like letting it out abit here to people I know who have been through similar despair and have proof positive info to provide.
My marriage of 17 yrs with 2 wonderful kids 5,11 was flipped on its head 4 weeks ago by the bombshell my stbx dropped about an affair she is having.
I had no idea whatsoever, we were the ideal family who did everything together.
We eat dinner together everynight, shopping, marketing, school functions, sports you name it.
Of course looking back I see the subtle hints and clues that I neglected, but never thought this could happen to me/us.
My life is utterly devastated and and the pains for my kids is unimagineable.
Its been only 4 weeks since she told me but it seems like a lifetime in my head.
The what ifs and why nots consumed me the 1st few weeks but I have recently come to the conclusion that I cant do anything about those.
We had about 5 days of solid makeup (probably her guilt) but that quickly turned into me pushing her farther away as I tried everything in my power to show her love, be affectionate , while trying to coherse her into believing this was all just a mistake a huge correctible mistake.
My 1st response was lets fix this mess and get over it, followed by anger and resentment and visions of divorce. We agreed to try MC and after 2 feable sessions that seemed to make my wife angrier than before entering, we have abandoned that.
We have now come to the conclusion divorce is our best option.
Yesterday we had our mediation consultation and Im realistically hoping to get the kids 50-50, but it still absolutely breaks my heart to only get to see my own flesh and blood half of the time because of her selfish affair.
I know divorce is my only option, I know divorce will be my personal closure that allows me to move on, I know divorce is inevitible, but I just cant seem to handle the repricussions of divorce right now.
I hate her so much for doing this to my family and me, yet I love her so much that it makes my head spin. Is there any sanity with this.
I like others, have lost 20 lbs or so, cant eat or sleep
(Although each is getting a bit better by the day)
I have serious issues dealing with the idea my family is destroyed, my kids life is completely altered and she easily moves on (most likely with mr w)
I dont drink or do drugs, how in the hell do you folks cope with this, at this time?
Yesterday stbx says Im moving way to fast with mediation, divorce etc and wants to know why? Why cant I just give her some space to try and figure things out.
This makes me think, but ultimately she chose our fate and we both know that. I know I need to stay strong for the kids and there is truely only 1 option.
It just hurts so much knowing that she can so quickly move on, but Im forced in anguish to watch it all go by.
I love my kids to death and will be a stronger daddy for all of this, and understand thats got to be my focus.
This morning before leaving for work I kissed my wife good bye (1st time in over a week) as I was on my way to a big meeting in NYC and left it at that.
After my meeting I called her to tell her I was headed for the train to head back home (where I am typing now) and my emotions get the best of me. I tell her I love her very much.
And her response is:
Im so sorry I hurt you!
Thus the title of my thread
Anybody else feel the slight window of R crashing down quickly.
Sorry this was so long!
I told my story at the end of another thread (eyesopen) it was a true inspiration and I felt that it needed to be kept alive for others to view.
But I have hardly anyone to talk with and feel like letting it out abit here to people I know who have been through similar despair and have proof positive info to provide.
My marriage of 17 yrs with 2 wonderful kids 5,11 was flipped on its head 4 weeks ago by the bombshell my stbx dropped about an affair she is having.
I had no idea whatsoever, we were the ideal family who did everything together.
We eat dinner together everynight, shopping, marketing, school functions, sports you name it.
Of course looking back I see the subtle hints and clues that I neglected, but never thought this could happen to me/us.
My life is utterly devastated and and the pains for my kids is unimagineable.
Its been only 4 weeks since she told me but it seems like a lifetime in my head.
The what ifs and why nots consumed me the 1st few weeks but I have recently come to the conclusion that I cant do anything about those.
We had about 5 days of solid makeup (probably her guilt) but that quickly turned into me pushing her farther away as I tried everything in my power to show her love, be affectionate , while trying to coherse her into believing this was all just a mistake a huge correctible mistake.
My 1st response was lets fix this mess and get over it, followed by anger and resentment and visions of divorce. We agreed to try MC and after 2 feable sessions that seemed to make my wife angrier than before entering, we have abandoned that.
We have now come to the conclusion divorce is our best option.
Yesterday we had our mediation consultation and Im realistically hoping to get the kids 50-50, but it still absolutely breaks my heart to only get to see my own flesh and blood half of the time because of her selfish affair.
I know divorce is my only option, I know divorce will be my personal closure that allows me to move on, I know divorce is inevitible, but I just cant seem to handle the repricussions of divorce right now.
I hate her so much for doing this to my family and me, yet I love her so much that it makes my head spin. Is there any sanity with this.
I like others, have lost 20 lbs or so, cant eat or sleep
(Although each is getting a bit better by the day)
I have serious issues dealing with the idea my family is destroyed, my kids life is completely altered and she easily moves on (most likely with mr w)
I dont drink or do drugs, how in the hell do you folks cope with this, at this time?
Yesterday stbx says Im moving way to fast with mediation, divorce etc and wants to know why? Why cant I just give her some space to try and figure things out.
This makes me think, but ultimately she chose our fate and we both know that. I know I need to stay strong for the kids and there is truely only 1 option.
It just hurts so much knowing that she can so quickly move on, but Im forced in anguish to watch it all go by.
I love my kids to death and will be a stronger daddy for all of this, and understand thats got to be my focus.
This morning before leaving for work I kissed my wife good bye (1st time in over a week) as I was on my way to a big meeting in NYC and left it at that.
After my meeting I called her to tell her I was headed for the train to head back home (where I am typing now) and my emotions get the best of me. I tell her I love her very much.
And her response is:
Im so sorry I hurt you!
Thus the title of my thread
Anybody else feel the slight window of R crashing down quickly.
Sorry this was so long!
Put the internet to work for you.
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