Divorced Filed, Not Served - Is this the end?

This is long, sorry...( I left out a lot)

My wife and I have been together since 2003. It has a been bumpy to say the least. However, those differences, for the most part, outweighed our differences - at least in the beginning.

Without going into details about our history, I'll jump to the end :-) Then you guys can ask any questions you are not sure of. Presently my wife does not have a job (it has been this way for several years). She also is diagnosed with an anxiety, depression as well as ADHD and schizophrenia. None of which are TOO invasive, unless I have just been with her to long and have become acclimated to it.

While I can deal with those episodes over the years, I have suddenly lost site to the fact: is her diagnosis causing her to be this way (see below) or is this a character flaw - in which the divorce is justified. Here are some issues around the home and her feelings on the issue.

SHE FEELS SHE IS A SLAVE, HOUSE MAID, COOK, SEX OBJECT AND LAUNDRY GIRL.
In reply to her I told her to leave (this was after a few years of hearing this)
1

1. She no longer cooks much - yet I NEVER complain that she doesn't. I either cook for both of us, or ask if she is hungry, and if not, I get something myself
2. She rarely does laundry anymore, and if she does, just pulls it from the dryer and dumps it where ever. Again, I never complain about this - I either wait, or if I run out of something I need, I do it myself, along with her's.*
3. She only cleans the kitchen and the bathroom, and everythng else, including those two, are at her leisure. AGAIN, I do not voice a complaint.
4. Intimacy is few and far between, ranging from about 8 - 15x a year. I attribute most of this due to her medication - and for the most part I get by, but I am human and aside from just the intimate side, it does separate us from room mates

Her requirement - none are negotiable

1. Expensive cigarettes - we're talking $9 - $10pk imports
2. Redbull daily (in excess of $200+ month!!)
3. High dollar coffee which she drinks 2 or 3x daily (yup in conjunction with her redbull and coffee) - several times she has taken the "less expensive coffee FOLGERS for example and returned it to the store

This list is endless. NO I do not get to spend much on myself, if I did, we would have zero money!!!

This list is not exhaustive. But as you can see, I am pretty passive for the most part. A close friend of mine said that I am enabling her. But she is an adult and knows right from wrong - so I do not buy it. I work part time as a care taker in condo's I live, so for the most part it is pretty smooth, and laid back. I get paid once a month.. but since that amount is not sufficient to carry her "high maint" i always work a 2nd retail job.

But lately, EVEN I have limits - and the gloves came off. I decided to take their advise and put my foot down. When that happened, all hell broke loose (she has a violent temper) - it is like all she wants to do, is her thing all day. then suddenly I am the oppressor.
So I filled for a divorce.
It was obvious we are not a match - we dot share political view points, religion, and she feels that I should support her since we are married and that everything owned is 50/50.

Why do I want a wife that doesn't do anything - not even get a job? She has become a squatter (even where we live, I have found her int he MENS room smoking because its too cold out, and the mens rooms has a window, not the woman's, and I don't allow smoking inside our place - that's just one example of OTHER things she does). It's like she is a homeless person fighting for her right to stay here - free room and board with internet. Free smokes and coffees as well as other amenities. If i speak out why she is not doing anything here - suddenly I am a slave driver. I don't get it.

I wish this wasn't so long, but I do not know how to express this - is she correct? am I really this bad husband? or is she the bad wife? Is the divorce due?

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