For those of you out there who have been in relationships for a very long time, how do you resolve conflicts that cannot be resolved? And how do you compromise where there is no middle ground?
Here are a couple of scenarios:
1) Flirting - I don't agree with flirting outside of the relationship. I consider it to be disrespectful, inappropriate and insulting. He is okay with it. He believes that flirting with other girls is harmless and innocent. He often tells me there is a difference between "real flirting" and "harmless flirting". I disagree. I think that flirting with others is crossing the line and stepping in dangerous territory. He is not willing to stop flirting and I feel hurt that he chooses that. Now what??
2) Pornography - I don't watch porn and often find it to be degrading, undermining and disrespectful. I'd consider watching it with him, together, as a couple. He disagrees with the idea of watching it together. He thinks he should have private moments during which he gets to enjoy porn. I find it damaging to our relationship. When he watches it and enjoys himself, our sex life is impacted. We go days, even weeks sometimes, without sex, mainly because he doesn't have the desire to be with me sexually after porn. I'd prefer if he focused his energy in increasing our intimacy and exploring new things together with me, rather than choosing a selfish act. I feel like I'm willing to try different things and make it more enjoyable for both of us, but he often states that he will never change and that he will continue watching porn and enjoying himself, even if it impacts our relationship. Now what??
Any thoughts?
Here are a couple of scenarios:
1) Flirting - I don't agree with flirting outside of the relationship. I consider it to be disrespectful, inappropriate and insulting. He is okay with it. He believes that flirting with other girls is harmless and innocent. He often tells me there is a difference between "real flirting" and "harmless flirting". I disagree. I think that flirting with others is crossing the line and stepping in dangerous territory. He is not willing to stop flirting and I feel hurt that he chooses that. Now what??
2) Pornography - I don't watch porn and often find it to be degrading, undermining and disrespectful. I'd consider watching it with him, together, as a couple. He disagrees with the idea of watching it together. He thinks he should have private moments during which he gets to enjoy porn. I find it damaging to our relationship. When he watches it and enjoys himself, our sex life is impacted. We go days, even weeks sometimes, without sex, mainly because he doesn't have the desire to be with me sexually after porn. I'd prefer if he focused his energy in increasing our intimacy and exploring new things together with me, rather than choosing a selfish act. I feel like I'm willing to try different things and make it more enjoyable for both of us, but he often states that he will never change and that he will continue watching porn and enjoying himself, even if it impacts our relationship. Now what??
Any thoughts?
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